@OHsusieQ every single one of us has been there. I’ve been there many many mannnny times. But right now I’ve been sober for longer than I have been in the last 10 years.
You haven’t wasted anyone’s time. Please come back and hang out with us. 
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You know the right thing to do is to stay sober and stay here. It’s hard, but it’s right.
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This is so bullshit from that woman.
Stay away and reconsider helping her please, at least leave immediately after work is done, no hanging out. This are the people knowing shit about addiction and talking bullshit putting social pressure on vulnerable people.
We have to choose our battles wisely, this kind is of the unnecessary kind.
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Then get on the sober train again immediately, dust off, next turn. Sobriety is a choice, recovery is a lifestyle and something you grow into. You can choose sober today and practice
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I sincerely appreciate all of you trying to help but I’m truly not worth your time.
I don’t have faith in myself and I’m not sure if I ever will. I have tried so so many times and failed every time. I don’t know what it takes to succeed. And if I did, I probably wouldn’t do it anyway because I’m just not a person that succeeds in life. I’ve always been a failure and I feel like I always will be. Trying only proves that I’m a failure. 
I’ll continue reading here. I do want this.. Just no willpower or faith.
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@OHsusieQ This broke my heart a little. I would have said the exact same thing about me and my ability to quit, truly. You are worth the effort it takes to try. You relapsed. It happens. Think about why and then dust yourself off and try again. Sending you lots of care.
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Exactly wrong, Susie. Trying proves that you do have faith, maybe in us, maybe in a divinity, maybe in yourself.
Your husband may be a great guy, but the one thing he lacks is a commitment to sobriety (both his and yours) and, most importantly, he does not know how to stay sober. So when it comes to guidance on sobriety, I would suggest you get to an in-person meeting of some sort (AA is what worked for me) and do what they suggest, or get some ideas here and do as those suggest.
Believing that I was a failure in life and I was doomed to return to drinking took years to establish. I had to surrender to the idea of sobriety, I had to surrender not to the fact that I was an alcoholic, but to the fact that something could be done about it. I had lost jobs, a marriage, my freedom, all sorts of money. I had tried sobriety half-heartedly and then also sincerely, for 18 years before I got sober. I distinctly advise against waiting that amount of time - I had at least 3 close brushes with alcohol related death in those years. But after all that time, after all that “failure”, one day I walked into a meeting of AA and asked for help. I took the help offered, I followed the suggestions, and it worked for one day, then another, then another.
Here is a principle I tried to instill in my children (after I got sober). It matters how you feel about a situation, but it matters more what you do about it. Now, that might seem a very “male problem-solving” approach, but there is truth in it. Less belly button gazing and more action. Less internalizing the opinions and negative voices of others and more action.
If a bad drunk like me can get sober, so can you. I don’t want you to drink yourself to death. I don’t want you to drown your hopes and dreams and live that life of quiet desperation. There is so much more that we are called to do, the role of each person as a splinter of the Divine is so compelling, and you are enough to fulfill all that glorious potential.
Blessings 
on your house today.
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Keep coming back. Keep on reading. There is so much to learn here.
There is nothing to feel sorry for. Not towards us.
I couldn’t make it one day sober. I was a daily deinker and it took me endless effort to stay away for one day let alone more days.
I think you can believe us that it will get easier. It will eventually. People like this woman surely don’t help with this. She seems like some voice inside your head that is there and turning the volume up: yeah, moderation. Sure. That sounds nice. Let’s do this. Only some drinks.
Well, fuck moderation. Moderation sucks. It leads directly into drinking hell. Don’t give up. We are here.
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Hi everyone, a newbie here. I’m confused by overlay of this app.
Generally speaking, i’m trying to quit watching porn and masturbating. I just want to find a place where i can open myself a lil bit and to track my progress. Which thread should i write in?
I simply don’t have strength. Most of all I am praying right now. I am praying every morning, every night, throughout the day, multiple times a day. I have tried so so many times to quit. I thought this time would be different. But then again, I always think that. And it never is. I don’t want to keep lying to myself. God is going to have to help me. Without His help, I can’t do it. I will continue to pray.
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I hear you saying you don’t have strength, but you’re here and you’re trying –even in the face of other people putting obstacles in your way. That is strength to me. You’re building your muscles and we’re here to help you. Sending love.
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Ya might want to Identify why ya drink and work through that.. easy for me to write, harder to execute.
The amount of energy required to live in my addiction was greater than that required to stay in my sobriety…I needed to move on, so eventually I did.
I don’t drink anymore and life is moving in the right direction.
7.5yrs on the app
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Faith without works is dead, correct? So keep praying, but take direct action on your sobriety also. That can be medication or AA or counseling or many other avenues.
The third step in the AA program of recovery is that we “Made a decision to turn our lives over to the cars of God as we understood Him”. And how do we in AA demonstrate that decision? By taking immediate and decisive action on growing our recovery.
I need a god with skin on - my contact with a higher power is seldom deeper than when I am in community with my fellow sober alcoholics.
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You don’t need strength. It’s enough when you survive. Put your sober head on the pillow tonight. Early. Very early. You can start over every day, every minute, you can always go back to basics, you can always give it another try. Because you are enough, you are worth it. Keep going, you for sure are not a failure, that’s just pity-party-addict-brain talking. You can tell it to shut up and switch into encouraging mode. I can asure you, it will throw a fit and you get something to laugh discussing how the day goes with your addict brain. For me, this inner discussions me vs. myself were helpful, because “No, we don’t do that anymore” became a killing phrase for urges of all kinds. Pouting addict-brain included.
Keep going and keep coming here. We are here for you
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Not trying to beat a dead horse, here, but was it a coincidence that this is the thought of the day from 24 Hours A Day by Richmond Walker? (My emphasis added)
Thought for the Day
There are two important things we have to do if we want to get sober and stay sober. First, having admitted that we’re helpless before alcohol, we have to turn our alcoholic problem over to God and trust Him to take care of it for us. This means asking Him every morning for the strength to stay sober that day and thanking Him every night. It means really leaving the problem in God’s hands and not reaching out and taking the problem back to ourselves. Second, having given our drink problem to God, we must cooperate with Him by doing something about it ourselves. Am I doing these two things?
The full context can be seen here: Thought for the Day | Daily Meditation | Hazelden Betty Ford
@OHsusieQ … this is fantastic feedback!! Dan REALLY knows what he is talking about.
For me? I went to rehab at 26 and stopped drinking for 18 years. Like a fool I did what I knew I shouldn’t and drank. Struggled off and on for 14 years. Found this app, actually the people who participate, and celebrated 5 years this past Thursday. Coming here and reading about successes (yes, please) and relapses (don’t want that!) worked. And not buying the stuff, too. This is a 24/7 resource and we are real people. Some who gave up on themselves, then many decided to keep trying. Hope you are one of those.
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I want to try again. Please be honest with me here. Did you all quit cold turkey or did you find it easier to wean yourselves? I want to do cold turkey because moderation hasn’t worked in the past, but maybe I’m going about it the wrong way. I don’t know. This I do know…. I absolutely can not allow myself to get argumentative or testy with my husband just because I’m having a hard time dealing with sobriety. It’s not his fault. I have to find other ways to deal with things. I won’t allow my marriage to fall apart. And maybe that’s the rub. If I have to make a bigger commitment to sobriety than I made to him on our wedding day..I won’t be able to do it. I meant every word I said to him when we got married. You all seem to believe in me. After reading all I’ve just written, being perfectly honest with you and myself, do you still think I can do it? What do you honestly think? Will it take a bigger commitment?
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I’m so glad you’re here, @OHsusieQ . You can 100% do this. Absolutely. It might take time and frustration and figuring out how to navigate your relationship, but you. can. do. this.
For me, weaning myself off just didn’t work…because picking up the first drink almost always meant picking up the 7th drink. I could occasionally limit myself to one, but that would just “prove” to me that I didn’t actually have a problem and could moderate on my own. Which…I could not.
I hear how important your marriage is to you. You will have to think through what you need from your husband and what you need to stand firm on, but none of that means your marriage has to end. We all grow and evolve in relationships, and good relationships allow for that.
You are welcome here no matter what, and no matter if you stumble sometimes. You can do this. 
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In my experience moderation was not possible. I’d convince myself that a few less was better, but it never would have gotten me to complete sobriety. One drink is just too many for me. Sounds to me like you already know the answer to this one though! Trust your lived experiences, if moderation didn’t work in the past, what makes you think it will work in the future?
I’m no marriage expert and obviously don’t know what vows you made that day, but didn’t he make a commitment to you on that day as well? In sickness and in health, or something along those lines? From my experience with relationships they are a two way road, both need to give and receive, support and be supported, give love and receive love.
I don’t think it’s about the size of the commitment, it’s about sticking to the commitment you make, period.
I believe in you! But you also need to believe in yourself. For me believing in myself was difficult at first, but the more times I stuck to my commitment to stay sober, the stronger the belief that I could do it became.
I’m so glad you are here, that you want something better for yourself, and that you are willing to ask the hard questions. 
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