Day 219 sober.. from meth atleast

I’ve been clean for 219 days… my last record is 408 days. I’m more than half way there right… :woman_shrugging:t4:
I haven’t been using meth but I’ve been using a lot of pills… I wouldn’t say daily but I would agree weekly. like Percocets, hydrocodone, & muscle relaxers… now I’m not addicted to these things because I don’t feel as if I need them… all I know is, I want to feel something all the time. Can I become dependent but not addicted? Is that a thing??
I believe I’m abusing prescriptions but none of these drugs are “my thing”. Maybe I’m just trying to get my hands on anything that makes me feel something or nothing at all as long as I’m not looking for meth…
for the record, these are all downers. Anybody understand me?

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I hear what you are saying, I understand. But, you are still behaving like an addict. One of the biggest things about recovery and sobriety is dealing with life on lifes terms. If we don’t we always end up back where we were, and often worse. You may not be taking them everyday, you may not have built a physical addiction to them yet, but how long will that be true? We seek to fill something inside ourselves with something else, and as addicts we generally turn to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, self harm, whatever it may be. These behaviors generally lead us back to the horrible, desperate place we wanted to leave in the first place.

Congrats on the days clean from meth. I would suggest, as a fellow addict, that you make that days clean and sober from all substances.

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Thank you for your words.
Yes I feel the same way… I do feel like I still have these addict tendencies which I’ve accepted & that’s okay. That’s what made me who I am today. But I do want to lay off every drug & be COMPLETELY clean.
I guess it’s just a matter of time “when” huh…
I don’t know what my problem is yet. It’s like I’m looking for a feeling I’m never gonna find again like I did with meth… cause I’m for sure never going back to that dark place. I just know I still want to feel something. It wasn’t always like this. I stopped consuming every drug, including smoking weed… this slowly progressed.

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Well I started going to substance abuse classes from May ‘18-July ‘18 which really was a big step for me! before I relapsed in June of 2019. Which was a minor slip up for a major set back… but got sober that same day! So here I am today with 219 days :slightly_smiling_face:
This forum honestly helps me a lot I don’t get on here much anymore but it will always play a role in my recovery & I have close friends who have also gotten clean which is a big motive…
but you’re right I’m thinking about going to something small like another class or a counselor… thank you for your words btw!

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Thank you! That honestly makes me feel good getting told I’m doing something right…
I don’t wanna risk getting addicted to something else… I know better, I just need to do better. I will.

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The biggest red flag in your reply is that you are looking for something to make you feel like meth used to. This is an unrealistic expectation. One of the biggest reasons we become addicts is because we know nothing else will give us that feeling. So finding a new balance, a new way to feel good, is extremely important. BUT, this has to be something that isn’t addict behavior. We will always be going backwards if we are acting in an addict fashion.

One thing I’ve seen a lot of people talk about is learning how to rock climb. I’ve never done it, but it seems like the perfect experience for a recovering addict. It is physically acting out the process of recovery, while being incredibly adrenaline producing. The reward seems to be intense and amazing. @aircircle started doing this I believe.

Point is, find new things that will give you a new, different, healthy way of feeling good.

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I know coming off meth can make you feel emotionless. Like theres a hole to fill. But downers are a slippery slope that will take you to a different dark place. And it will catch up quick. Getting physically addicted to those is a whole different ballgame of suffering. Youd be surprised how much you can actually feel when you’re clean of everything, once your brain evens out. It can be overwhelming at first but worth it day to day being able to feel your true emotions and learn how to deal naturally. Just a thought bc ive been there. Replacing a drug with another drug just keeps feeding the addict inside. Glad you’re here and seeking advice. A very big step in the right direction.

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Congratulations on the 219 days and the prior 408 day’s of freedom from a Hell that I have also visited… That’s over 600 day’s and that’s extremely hard to do!!! :tada::slightly_smiling_face::sparkler: But I’m gonna say that the downers you are substituting with in very little time can have you hooked before you know it and very possibly chasing the needle… You are very wise in wanting to stop it all… But you’re gonna have to really hate it all as well… Every feeling, even the rush… Or at least understand that it’s not worth it… Like said above maybe you need some extreme activities to do to get your blood pumping… Everything else will kill you… :100:

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Totally agree with everything said on here. The hardest part of staying off coke for me was accepting that I would never hit that ‘high’ again.

The drug had set an artificial expectation of what ‘great’ felt like and when I came off it my body was still wanting something to replace it.

The reality was that REAL life doesn’t offer up highs of that magnitude because they are artificial, unsustainable and eventually kill you.

I am still learning to live with my new level of what a natural high feels like and do you know what helps? Knowing that it won’t be followed by the squalid, anx-ridden lows that come with it.

Real-life doesnt hit the same highs, but neither does it result in the crippling lows and at the end of the day, it was that trade-off that I seized with both hands.

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Thank you for all your kind words & helpful advice. I just want everyone to know I do take every piece of genuine advice given to me, into consideration.
Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only person going thru this so I appreciate my questions being answered…
I’m still growing as a young adult, I’ve made a lot of mistakes but these are the kind of trials I’m facing that are gonna make me wiser.
So thank you, all love :heart: I pray everyone has a blessed day.

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Congratulations on that precious number…u inspired me with that meth achievement…coz i know how hard it is to deal with meth. Failure after failure but i wont give up, i just wanna crawl out from that dark place…meth’s slave…btw, i know u can quit it all one day, u will make it, we will make it!

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You’re so right! That kind of attitude goes a long way trust me!
Much love :heart:

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I have never tried drugs, but i have heard that people are always seeking the same high as they got the first time, but its never possible to get again? If thats true, maybe thats what you are seeking in the perscripted medicine ?? I wish you the best.

I understand u completely I’m struggling with the same problem but still popping but clean from Meth

I understand completely what you have said. I’m trying to stay off meth, but I miss the highs and euphoria it gave me. How stupid is that!

But I hate the crash and the emptiness after. That at least motivates me to stay clean.