Day 3 - first post

Your Story
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Hi, 3 days ago I got tired of my drinking. It has really escalated in the last year and the last six months I’ve not been sober for more than 2 days in a row I think. There has been a lot of weeks where I drink several days in a row. Always some party to go to or just plain restlessness.

I started to slowly realize the bad pattern, the Shame, the bad behavior when I drank too much. The sneaky drinking in the kitchen where noone could see me.

I didn’t binge drink all the time, just like twice a week, all the other times the friend I was drinking with at the time was satisfied with 1-3 beers and I didn’t want to seem like I wanted more so I usually stopped at that.

I’ve had issues with controlling the amount all along I think. Fascinated with the buzz, What it did for me as a rather shy girl, I became more outgoing, but also, often sad or angry when I had too much.
I also liked to drink to sooth anxiety or stress. That has a large part of the daily drinking.

I’m 28 and I can’t remember the last time I had a full sober week. Must have been years ago.

Well. No more.

I really decided out of nowhere, nothing special happend, just a tiny tiny blackout, nothing that bothered me much before, but that night it did. It all just made me cry, I felt like an idiot. I’m Such a high achiever, always been the good girl. With a great job, family and friends. A passion for creativity, animals, politics, You know how the fuck did I turn in to this weak alcoholic-person? It just happend.

So, no more.

I have the willpower the size of mount Everest when I want something so I feel pretty confident about making this all the way. At the moment I’m curled up under a blanket in bed with tea and freezing and being dizzy, I guess I’m suffering from some kind of withdrawl. It’s ok, not to bad.

I think the only thing that really has not started to set yet is the fact that I Will NEVER drink again. Never. That’s so weird. My mind wanders of to “Well this Will all be fine and then in a couple of weeks You can…” -NO!

No more. I refuse.

When I make My first sober week I Will buy myself a pretty houseplant. Haha :slight_smile:

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Welcome :hugs: I wish you all the best on your journey :muscle::muscle::muscle:

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I find it helpful to not think about forever and just focus on the now. You only have to be sober for today. Find a group like AA if AA isn’t your thing you can try something else. Where I’m from we have a group called phoenix multi sport which is a sober group that does hiking, climbing, yoga, etc… keep reaching out, addiction is impossible to beat on your own.

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Wow, reading your post just made me wonder for a second if I had wrote it. Right down to the sneaking drinks in the kitchen when no one is watching, being 28 and also the insane amount of willpower. I never thought I would end up struggling with alcohol but, here I am. I’m working on day 5 right now. Welcome!

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I might Try AA but I also decided to be very open about it with My friends and have talked a lot with them, especially one Who is a sober alcoholic since 3 years back. I Love to talk about My issues when I realize I have them, it really helps me and so far my friends have been a wonderful support.

And yes, I guess I should just Take it one day at the time.

I have a dog and some dog-related friends and have decided to focus more on dog training and walks with these friends. :slight_smile:

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Haha! Well it can obviously happen to anyone.

The thing that really bothers me is the way the world percieves alcoholics as sad old men that never gave a Fuck.
They didn’t just pop up there from the land of alcoholics, they were slowly forged in this world where alcohol abuse is too embarrising to mention. Where You can either control yourself or you’re irresponsible and It’s all your own fault.

As the “normal girl” I am I find it sad that people around me never mentioned it more, that my best friend now is surprised (he just thought I was a bit wreckless) like “are YOU an alcoholic?” When I finally told him that I’ve been craving a drink everyday for the past year or whatever.

Silly me that was able to hide it so Well. Silly world that made me do it, made me ashamed to admit it even to myself.

You go You! We got this. This stupid thing is not what we are.

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Day 10!

The first 5 days was like the longest days of My Life haha. I felt dizzy and cold and nauseas. I thought a lot about alcohol. Didn’t really feel that the cravings where hard to handle but thought a lot about explicitly avoiding it.

Around day 6 I started to feel a bit better. I told a lot of My friends about it all and day 7 I actually went to visit a friend Who had 2 other friends over. 2 of them drank some wine (My friend warned me about the fact there would be alcohol there but I felt confident that I would be allright) and I drank some Tonic and mineral water. We played videogames and I was Happy to just hang out with people “as usual”.

I knew it was a safe place to be even though they drank since I was open about not drinking and My friend was really supportive. I went home before midnight feeling proud and… light.

So, today. Day 10. Feels so unreal! I am so proud of myself. Also I really enjoy this app and forum. It helps to stay focused on the bygger picture :slight_smile:

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Hi! Congrats on day 10! Your story is very similar to mine. The only difference is that I’m just starting day 2! Stay strong!! :muscle::muscle::muscle:

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Best of wishes! Congrats on day 10 :blush:

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Well done on 10 days, keep posting and sharing. What plant did you treat yourself too?
Remember to water yourself as well as the plant lol :+1:

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You too! You Got this :slight_smile:
Just keep occupied for the first days and then it will get easier!

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Thank You!

Haha, I treated myself with arts and crafts-supplies instead but I plan on buying a “Monkey Mask” soon! :heart_eyes:

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