Its day 6 off the Boi… My girlfriend left me last night and I’m struggling not to go get a couple of points and nod out… We had our problems but for the most part I thought we was good but she made it clear the path I am taking wasn’t what she truly wanted to do. How do you let go of the love of your life twice in a week? I don’t want to do this alone she was all I had left. I have prayed so hard and it is still getting worse. How can this be happening? You stick it out through the bad and leave when things are turning around finally… I don’t want to be here anymore. If it wasn’t for my son this would be my last hour. I have never hurt like this physically or emotionally in my life. Its like I’m being punished for wanting more out of my life. I’m not a bad person I have just made a lot of bad decisions and I can’t change that. I have tried. Idk how I’m gonna do this anymore… Sorry I had to let this out some where…
Maybe this is what life has intended for me. Maybe somehow I am getting what I deserve. This is my fault anyway I don’t know why I’m so confused and lost. I know everyone would be happier if I would just disappear. I know how much of a burden I am to everyone. It makes sense I have lost everyone I’m not worth the trouble. I’d change it all if I could but its to late and I don’t know how to deal with it. Plz Lord show me where to go from here…
Hi Spryte, first of all I’m glad you’re here and speak out to us. That’s a great first step. I know you’re hurt and it sounds like you reached your rock bottom.
But believe me it is never too late to make a change. You got 6 days clean. That’s awesome. Great steps!!!
You said your girlfriend left you. That’s really tough. Made it clear with your actions that you’re willing to change. What are you willing to do? Thought about meetings? Therapy? Programs? I wish you all the best on your journey!!! Stay strong and stay with us!!!
Sorry to hear your day is sucking. You asked for help and that is awesome. You are everything to that little guy. Remember all the reasons you decided to quit. Put yourself at the top of that list. You can do this. Don’t make excuses to go back. Think about how hard day one was. Keep looking forward and things will get better. Keep coming here, find a meeting, read books on recovery. Anything to stay sober
Dude that’s some tough stuff and certainly hurts. Give us an update pls.
@spryte, you need to get help from a health professional, who can support you through these difficult times, be prepared to be open about everything. Your son needs you, you know this already, do this for yourself but also for him, think of all the times he is going to need you, now and in the future, make him proud but more importantly find your self-respect and make yourself proud. One day at a time. Take care, life is a moveable feast, how you feel now can be so very different and much improved as each day passes.
Stay strong you can do this!!