Day 9 .. aghhh!

By 8 AM , I had experienced a trigger . FML . It’s 9 AM and I can’t get alcohol off my mind and the urge to drown away my anger with a bottle . I have come so far and feel so good . I love having energy to get out of bed in the mornings … I love how good my relationships are going … I love how I’m not waiting around for 2pm to hit so I can drink … I love feeling happier, less angry and irritable every day . I love how much more emotional control I have over myself. I love not feeling like an absolute piece of shit everyday . I HATE the way alcohol made me act and feel … YET here I am … I hate everything about alcohol , frankly at the end of it I didn’t even really “enjoy” the feeling anymore … I was sick all the time … constantly vomiting, couldn’t eat , extreme bowel issues … YET HERE I AM !! Why the hell would I even WANT it ! I WONT drink , but I’m frustrated that I even want to .

Well thank for listening … rant over . lmfao !!

4 Likes

First, you didnt drink…and that is a win. Every time you say “no” it’s a win. Second, at 9 days, it’s going to come…the urges. I drank for over 2 decades, it took a long time to get over that life style.

Keep saying “no” and it does get better!

4 Likes

Just keep saying it over and over, if you have to. Go do something physical. Write a note to yourself. Take a scalding hot, or ice cold, shower. Scream into a pillow. Eat a piece of cake. Stick a pencil lengthwise into your mouth, it forces a smile. I swear it works. A smile automatically changes you, not for the long term but I think you’ll be surprised.

All the days can be brutal. I have found that 5-14 just suck. They just do. Good news, you can make this your last day 9.

5 Likes