Day 9... This is so hard

Well. Im on day 9… Made it past the week mark. Awesome. Right? I should be proud like I was yesterday. But today, I was like - omg… How much longer? I dont understand my thoughts right now. Its like im waiting for the right amounf of time to be able to “treat myself” and its sick. Im doing this for me… To benefit my life, my sons life. Yet today im acting as if im a toddler being put on time out - until I get to go back to my “toys” and play. Even me writing this makes no sense to me. If im supposed to want this - why do I feel like im punishing myself. :disappointed: not all days are gonna be easy… Today is a hard one. I have some messed up thoughts. I need to keep pushing on… But its so damn hard.

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Today is day one. Every day is day one. I have to take my medicine daily, or I will die.

Sobriety is a gift you give to yourself every single day. Open your present and enjoy it.

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You need to change the way actually view alcohol. If you MISS it, then you are going to feel like you lost something and you are missing out. Which we all know isn’t the truth! If you just stop drinking and don’t change anything else then your going to crave and have the emptiness inside. You need to change how you are as an addict at the core to able to face the music when the adrenaline rush of the first few days wears off and you risk losing motivation. You need to teach yourself to hate alcohol (or whatever your doc is). And start filling you beautiful sober life with new and wonderful things you couldn’t do before. It takes to undo the brainwashing but is possible if you do it with the right foundation. You have to see it as life or death. Just not even optiona. You have to make sobriety your number one priority every day and be grateful that you actually the chance at a life you want to live!

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Thanks Leigh. Its so funny you said about changing my foundation and the way I look at my doc. An hour ago I made a list of things I want to change in my life - and what consequences I would endure if I used. It helped actually a lot. I hung it on my wall. Im going to look at it evrry day.

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Congratulations on 9 days. I listened to many episodes of this podcast to help me. It stopped me seeing sobriety as a chore and made it feel amazing.

She has a book too called This Naked Mind

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Thank you. This site helps so much. You’re advice is appreciated. :smirk:

Here are some useful free resources I used:

These books changed my life

This Naked Mind
The Sober Diaries
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
The Easyway to Control Alcohol

I know exactly how that feels. I discovered that I had 2 different experiences when I quit 2 different times.

The first time I quit, I knew I had a problem and I wanted to quit. During my quit I felt like I was depriving myself. I was in a constant state of mourning. Every day was a struggle, fighting the thoughts of just one more night or the thoughts of moderation. I was not happy. I missed my old life, I was going through the motions because that’s what I had to do.

I ended up relapsing not too long into it, only 58 days.

5 months later, this new quit is different. I know I have a problem and I decided to quit. Before, I was resistant, now I embrace it. I educated myself about the effects of alcohol on the body and mind. I’ve read proples story’s, watched a lot of YouTube on the topic. I’ve also changed my diet and started exercising. My whole attitude and outlook on life has changed. Before I had to resist the urges to drink, now they make me mad as hell, and it’s that fire in the belly that was missing during that first quit that lead to my relapse.

If you ignite that fire in YOUR belly, all those feelings of doubt will burn away.

Godspeed my friend.

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