Day one again. How to get help anonymously

Man I don’t understand why I put myself through this. I know exactly how bad alcohol makes me feel.

I get pissed off at myself for relapsing and I get tired of feeling sick and tired. Then I fight to quit drinking and usually go few days to a few weeks without a drop. I usually start feeling amazing after 2/3 days. I start getting amazing sleep. I start to have much more energy…I don’t feel sick anymore.

Then all of a sudden it’s like a light switch. I completely forget about the pain I went through. All the pain and sickness from drinking isn’t even a thought. and I start the cycle all over.

Now I’m not one to drink when I’m mad or sad. I don’t like doing that because I know it just makes things worse.

My drinking has always been fun times drinking, celebration drinking, or just habitual the work day is over drinking. But once I start it’s game over, one beer turns into 10 and then the daily drinking starts over. Along with the daily hangover, massive anxiety, and mood swings.

How do you stay the course. How do you make yourself not forget how crappy alcohol makes you feel? I know it sounds simple but I keep cycling. I don’t have anyone in my life that is a heavy drinker. They are all super supportive of me quitting alcohol. Because of my health.

I would love to get professional help but I’m worried that if my employer found out I would lose my job Or worse lose my license. I’m a single income family. My family depends on me. (Another reason I need to quite drinking and get healthy)

Any suggestions would be appreciated


In the rooms is a app for online AA meetings … that’s all anonymous.

The shair podcast helped me tremendously.

This site is phenomenal for support.

Welcome Brandon, reach out anytime. You deserve a sober, happy life

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Welcome back Brandon!!
I made a list (in my phone) of all the cons and I refer back to it when I have an urge. I also play the tape all the way through in my head. I have to remind myself where that first drink will lead.

Do not be in fear of seaking professional help. Medical practitioners cannot share ANY of your information with anyone without your written consent. That would be in violation of HIPAA privacy laws which comes with stiff penalties as well as law suits against that provider.


Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. As Lisa said, Medical practitioners are not allowed to share your information without your permission. While employers are free to terminate and can refuse to hire anyone whose alcohol or drug use impairs their ability to perform the duties of their job, employers cannot fire or take other negative employment actions against an employee because of their status as an alcoholic or drug addict.


Hi Brandon, I know exactly how you feel, kept repeating the same cycle you described for many years myself … I work in a field with high pressure and an insane amount of responsibility. I never told anyone about my struggles with alcohol, not even the people close to me. I feared I would not get taken serious anymore or lose my good reputation.
I had a relapse after 6 months recently and finally opened up to my closest friends - I can’t tell you how relieved I feel and how much progress I made as a sober person since I started talking about it. I think my secrecy about my alcoholism made me more sick and ultimately led me to perfoming less at work (that’s ironic, because that’s what I tried to avoid the most :sweat_smile:).
I recently moved cities and don’t have a new position yet, but I don’t think I will be open about my recovery in my new workplace (like you, I have a license to loose). I do think it’s possible to keep some things private at work if that’s the one thing holding you back from asking for help (as long as you have a strong support in your private life, imo). Glad to hear your family has your back :raised_hands: this forum is also a wonderful resource to start out with!


I’m at day one again too. Any help you seek is protected by the HIPPA act aka privacy laws so don’t let that stop you from seeking help!


You’re spot on! Just got back on track myself. It’s like I read my own story, I think everybody here can relate. I don’t have any advice, I’m struggling with it in the same way atm. But it’s good to have you back here

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Keep on trying xxx

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Your description of day 2/3 feeling better is exactly what I went through over and over for years.

I used to be terrified of going to AA in case people found out…but the thing is it IS anonymous. The only people who will know you are there are also there for their own needs. They won’t out you.

Try online meetings. It’s people who know exactly how you’re feeling wanting to help you.


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Also, many Behavioral health clinics have a substance use dept. with counselors. Another anonymous option. Insight into our illness is huge, accepting it is life changing. Hugs!

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