I want this more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I’ve lost the love of my life and know that iam killing myself slowly. I will not falter but succeed any tips on making to milestone day 31???
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Relapse are not a failure @Shelbyeriss thats my opinion 
dont beat yourself over this. I understand you want this and you can make it. Try focus on what you want, do things like good things. Join a Aa meeting its like this. Its motivating, you are not alone . I do atend meetings atleast once a week . You will meet People like yourself. They will respect you for Who you are without a doubt. I know this . Find a sponsor . Its my best advice. IT can be tough but it will get better that is a promise ! You are in the power do not forget that. You deserve to live and gain your life back in best possible way . Love your self as i see it as for meetings this forum are meetings too as i see it .so yes i atend everyday . Funny but pretty cool . Stay positive, have hope stay clean.
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Thank you kindly your words are genuine and very supportive. I do appreciate it and need to find a group that I feel comfortable being a part of as well as a sponser. I don’t think I’m ready to open up and admit my failures and shortcomings to a group of strangers but am fully aware I need a new type of support because obviously what I was doing before was not working. I need to start attending daily but feel so vinderable and emotional. I know I can do this and know how absolutely amazing and happy I feel when I’m sober. Thank you for responding to me 
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You are welcome @Shelbyeriss you know you help me too ! Its the way it works about meetings : do it when you are ready for it. Im not pushing you to it. U shared your story here .so it is a start dont be so hard on your self . Staying sober are for sure the best we can do for our self .if we dont i know i would be dead. Remember you are a Good person With alot of resourses. Have hope have faith
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Even if you just go to meetings and listen, you’ll get tons from it.
Just remember though, the first meeting you go to will end up being a first step meeting and everyone will give you advice. Just take it as it is.
It can be a little uncomfortable. So if you want, when they ask if anyone is at a meeting for the first time, just not say anything.
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Keep on inspire !! Thank you all you guys are the best !
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Thank you so much for your words this site is really proving to be so inspiring. I love art and meditation, prayer, yoga ect and I really feel when im sober that I really get inspired to do those things. When I drink everything is muted gray and then I get trapped in this vicious cycle of trying to dumb everything because the anxiety gets to hard to deal with. How did you do it? How far along are you? thank you again for everything.
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Thank you so much Goose for your help and words. I know you are right and think that it would be helpful to just hear others words and what others are going through. I need to start going every day im very much craving a drink right now and its an awful feeling
If you feel like you need to go every day, then go every day.
But be careful, don’t get meeting burnout. Our AA community pushes for 90 meetings in 90 days. To me I don’t think I could handle that. But I at least go 3-4 times a week.
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Your right, I want to do the 90 meetings but i dont think I could either. I will go today though. Thank you for everything
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You write as i feel @Oliverjava to day im a happy addict .sober and clean. My only wish is to be better at english … im Norwegian.
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I will let it go then 
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Awe thank you so much your words really brought tears to my eyes. The amazing power of having someone to relate with means 100 times more than I ever thought it would. Oh my goodness to have a year than 2,3,4,5, ect would be so amazing. I want it so badly. My “ex” (now ex again after my last relapse) always asked me why i did it? what was I possibly thinking? you know I feel like I still dont have an appropriate answer for that. I did it know that effects and repercussions it would bring and STILL chose to do it. He was the love of my life and I screwed it all up so terribly and I dont even have an appropriate answer for it. Isint that awful?? Will I ever? It was just something that called t me deep down inside but I guess that is exactly what addiction is. It numbs my anxiety but than is the number one cause for it as well. Im so amazingly happy when I have my bouts of sobriety I have no idea why I continue to abuse my body. I dont want to die from such a pathetic form of destruction. Im very happy I have found this website and everyone has been so unbelievably amazing and supportive.
Why do I still want to go have a drink now ? I cant I wont, please I need to be stronger than this. I will succeed!!!
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Thanks Goose your right I think it will be supportive for me to even listen. Thank you so much
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Just keep on trying and keep on coming back. You fail only if you stay down and get comfortable where you are at but that’s not what you are doing. Feel proud that even though circumstances are such you’re still fighting. Don’t give up on yourself.
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