I am totally and utterly fed up with being an addict. I have embarassed myself big time yesterday so this morning I am just feeling really like I hate myself and so much shame. In a way rock bottom had to happen and I have admitted to myself now that I must make this change and go to my first AA meeting and seek support. I would be so grateful if anyone else has been through this terrible feeling in the early days and made it through. Drunk me and real me are totally different people and I just feel the shame that I have acted badly when drinking. I am so motivated to change and have reached out to people and joined this website. Thank you for reading
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Hi, welcome 
. most probably almost every one of us here have felt crippling shame and embarrassment on the morning after, i certainly have, many many times. I started arguments, broken so much stuff, woke up with bruises and scratches… All of which I can’t remember. The only thing to do is draw a line under it, move on and cut yourself some slack. Then use all your energy on your recovery and none on feeling guilty. Good luck, it really will be worth it x
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Hi robin, welcome to this wonderful place! You MUST remember this feeling. Write it down so that you can remember why you decided to stop. Our addicts mind forgets the bad and convinces is that we never had a problem. I wish you strength my friend. These feelings are familiar to us all. Be kind to yourself and as @PinkyP so wisely says, draw a line under it and move on. We got you covered! We’re here if ever you want to reach out… 
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I’ve only joined and started posting recently. Really great place and people. I’ve had that shame and embarrassment. Keep reading and posting.
As Blondie said, write it down, you want to remember this feeling. Starting out in sobriety you’ll start to feel things more and your doc would have numbed that.
I’m very early in but I was at the start before and hopefully have learned from what I didn’t do the last time 
Most importantly look after yourself
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Oh blimey ! Everyone , I would imagine .
Believe me , that fades as you progess . I started to have conversations with people when I was at around the 10 day Mark about what i nightmare I was . Strange thing was that nobody had noticed because they were too busy being badly behaved themselves .
Don’t be hard on yourself. It feels great waking up knowing that you are going to be your real self and not some nutty alcohol driven person with an inablity to edit ANYTHING that comes out of your alcholol impaired brain . Keep going and be proud of your achievement . Look forward and dont dwell on the past 
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Thank you all. It really helps to hear from others who understand. My husband has been so patient and he is also so supportive. Got my first AA meeting at 1 and another at 8. I figured I just need some help in the evening too. You are right about remembering this feeling and writing it down too. X
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You just told my story.
I Found this place and its been really good for me. I found my way back to AA and that has been good for me.
Ive made alot of positive changes in my life, and that has been good for me!
Glad your here!
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Welcome mate. We have probably ALL had the same situation. Doing or saying things around people you would never dream of doing if you were clear headed. The shame the next morning and the deep feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach and wishing you could turn back time.
Sometime the rock bottom is the only thing that shakes us into realisation that enough is enough.
Start your sobriety today, dont make excuses and take accountability. This place is definitely helping me to keep my head focused on the bigger picture which is a life where I am not controlled by booze.
Good luck x
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Welcome, Robin! I’m glad you’re here!
@Robin85 welcome to this wonderful online community. Yes, the majority of us have been there, done that. I’m going on day 45 myself and it feels great not wondering what I did yesterday, who I called, what I said, asking myself how I got those bruises to even passing out cold. Yet I’d wake up the next day to do it all over again. Well no more of that shit. Yes I had a few miserable relapses but I kept giving it another chance as failure was not an option. Failure is when you give up which will not win this time around. Don’t even let it in your vocabulary. So many great people here to guide you along your journey to sobriety. Good luck with AA and check in daily here. You won’t be disappointed.
I can only speak for myself but I’m guessing all of us have felt this way.
The shame and guilt is horrendous to start with but it does pass as you get through the withdrawal stages.
Good luck on your sober journey! You got this!
Welcome Robin. We’ve all been where you’re at. The early days are very hard but well worth it. Meetings and this app have been my saving grace for the past year. Please keep coming back. We’re all here for you.
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Feeling the same today. Truly embarrassed myself last night and I am taking the first step today to stop drinking and never feel this shame and embarrassment again. I’m so filled with anxiety, I never want to feel like this again.
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Welcome, B!
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Welcome B. You never have to feel that way again. We’re all here for you.
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Welcome, let go of that anxiety filled balloon 
, you’ll feel lighter and will be able to use all your energy on your recovery. Best of luck 
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Well day one for both of us. My first AA meeting was quite a revelation to be honest. Its been a crazy day and I am sending you positive vibes too. We can do this x
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we can do this! Even just today I felt so much support here. Makes me feel optimistic
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