Wine is my weakness, but really I’ll drink anything that will give me a buzz. My life had been a mess because of alcohol and although I have the best partner by myself I kept thinking I could manage having alcohol but just not drinking as much… well after missing three days of work this week, I belive I’ve hit my rock bottom. Last night while I was recovering from drinking far to much the night before, I was of course depressed and upset with myself. My fiance told me that it makes him sad that I like to be like that. So the point where I can’t even talk or take care of myself. He smoked weed and thats his “thing”. I cannot because I get extreme anxiety when I smoke. So my “thing” has always been alcohol. He told me that he would never smoke another day in his life if that’s what it took to get me to never have another drink again. It was at that moment that I realized I need to give this up. It’s effecting my life in so many areas and although I felt like I was strong enough to be in control and not over due it. I’ve realized I cannot. So I’m saying goodbye to alcohol. I would love to get at least one month of no drinking under my belt. The most I’ve made it in the last 4 years is probably a week or so… my health is declining, my mental state is declining, my work habits are horrible to the point where Im worries I’ll lose my job because I’m not a good employee. I’m messing up everything just for that buzz… thathis quit release that helps put me in a good mood… my two grandfathers were an alcoholic, my mother is an alcoholic. And now I’m doing the same things I watched my mom do as I was growing up.
My fiance and I want to try conceiving by May 2017 but until I can’t get my shit together, this will not be happening. I want to be healthy for myself, my family, my dogs, and my future children.
So my journey starts today. I just hope I can remain this motivated as days pass…
Thank you all for reading! And good luck to each and every one of you with your sobriety.
You got this!! Thanks for sharing you’re story with us all. It sounds like you want a better life and with gaining you’re sobriety back for good you will be so happy and have nothing but the blessed of times. It sounds like you’re fiance really cares about you. Keep him around for support and stay away from the bar and I recommend throwing any booze out of the house and not keeping any around. Take care and remember we are all here for you. Sending much love you’re way 
Thank you so much for the support. I’m just ready to feel proud of my self once again. Its been far to long since I have felt proud. Luckily my fiance doesn’t drink and neither do many of my friends so as long as I don’t go actively searching for it, it should be to hard for me to stay away from it. Fortunately I polished offinish my last bottle on Wednesday. Was to hung over and depressed yesterday to want to drink… but I was probably still drunk until about 2pm… I’m loving the support I’ve been seeing on this app. It will be great having all of you to talk to when times get tough. Thank you!