I started Dialectical Behavioral Therapy yesterday and my doctor said its best I stay sober for this course of treatment. I’m excited to start this process as BPD has been really a huge detriment to my life and my intrapersonal relationships. I have been sober from alcohol for five days now and yesterday I went to a concert where I was super anxious in general and drank a diet coke instead of getting a drink to “calm my nerves”
Just wanted to share and get some good vibes sent my way. I really hope this therapy course helps me, and staying sober helps me keep myself mindful of my emotions and in control
Good morning! I’m SO proud of you for grabbing the Diet Coke and you should be too!!
Staying sober is crucial during DBT. I have BPD as well and went so long misdiagnosed, struggling with meds, etc.. I gave up for awhile until everything around me started crumbling. I can tell you it DOES get better when you put this work in. Not everyday will be perfect, sometimes you’ll feel bored but remember that is completely ok! It’s normal and necessary.
At 5 days you are a huge inspiration to me and someone with 0 days. Good job not drinking at the concert. For me, I don’t go places that serve alcohol in general, except some restaurants. Found I only went to shows to get messed up and without the substances i didn’t have fun anymore. So I’m a home-body, which is what I prefer anyway. I am OCD so being in an environment I’m used to is the most comfortable for me. If you’re able to go out and be around party people, great. Just be careful not to set yourself up for a relapse.
Thanks for sharing your success with us
edited to ask: are you thinking you’ll be able to control your drinking at some point in the future?
Im not sure and not counting on it. My boyfriend broke up with me last night. All i wanted to do was get drunk and break his window. Im not doing so well right now.
Well it’ll pass and I know this is hard right now but try and focus on your recovery and don’t be negative. It’s okay, it’s going to work out. It always has worked out before, right? Just focus on making it to bed tonight sober. Is there someone you can call to vent to?
Hoping the best for you, make smart choices. Don’t throw away your recovery, you just feel sh*tty about it if you do and it won’t solve anything.
It just feels like i cant continue without him by my side. He knew I had bpd and i had issues but he said it was just… my episodes were too much and now he feels closed off and distant and thinks its not healthy to be together regardless if he is in love with me and wants to be with me, it’s too much
All that you’re experiencing is happening inside you, take a deep breath and focus on something else.
Go for a walk
Put on a movie
Listen to some music
Allow this situation to be as it is - you can only control yourself - not him. If he feels that he needs to separate from you for his health and for yours, let him have the freedom to do what he thinks is right.
Do you believe in God? Try this experiment:
If you start thinking about this guy, talk to God. Say something like, “Hey God, I’m feeling lonely. Will you please keep me company?”
Replace this guy with God, just to see if it makes you feel better.
The guy might decvcide to get back together, but for now at least you’ll have the space he left filled with something positive.
This has nothing to do with religion - it’s psychology.
I really dont feel like drinking. I know it will just make these feelings worse. And i might go break something if i do. I just feel so much pain. I feel so sad. Bpd carries intense fear of abandonment and this is just so intense for me
I’m sorry you and your boyfriend broke up. You will be able to go on without him. I know it hurts right now. Breaking up is hard, especially when you’re the one who did not make the decision. And sometimes loving someone is just not enough to stay in a relationship. Some times the best thing for two people is go separate ways while they still care. have a good cry tonight. Alcohol is not going to help. Go to bed sober and wake up hangover free tomorrow and cry again if you feel like it, but don’t drink. Get it out, it is part of the healing process. And Take a breath, you are going to be ok. Take this as an opportunity to change your life and get to know yourself. If you are not in therapy, maybe, now it would be a good time to start.
Getting dumped is rough, but it’s even worse when someone dumps you because they can’t handle your mental health challenges. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know it sucks. I hope you are able to pour into you. Replace the gaping hole in your heart with self-care & tenderness.
I was told once and it stick with me today because it is true. You are the one person that you can never get away from, so doesn’t make sense to be your best friend!!?
The answer should be yes. And still working on that for myself.
I appreciate you all consoling me it means so much. Today i hit a week sober. I dont wanna drink. If i do I will further disappoint myself. This looming anxiety is so bad. I just wanna call my ex bf and hear his voice. My head hurts so bad.
