Dealing with Bipolar and Depression in sobriety

So I’ve been sober for apporaching 2 years and have finally accepted my diagnosis of Bipolar I. Since I have gotten sober i have been depressed twice both starting around the holidays. This last depressive episode has been really debilitating causing me to be out of work for over 2 months now.

I’ve been working with a Therapist and Psychiatrist since getting sober and we’ve added and changed meds. It seems to work for a brief period like a week max and then I slip backwards into ignoring basic self-care like brushing teeth, deodorant, etc. And have little to no motivation and am just overeating and binging tv and games on my phone all day and isolating.

I have to return to work on 4/20 or be terminated and luckily got into a 6 hour a day 5 day a week Partial Hospitalization Program starting next week which I pray will get me ready to go back to work. I just would love any advice or insights.

Has anyone else felt like their mental health is worse since getting sober? What has worked for you to get you back to “normal” functioning aside from the usual pray, go to meetings, work the steps AA stuff? I’ve felt like so many people just say to dig in deeper to AA when this mental health issue isn’t really an “AA” problem

6 Likes

Having a very similar issue, I am also struggling with depression and I need to find some answer, thank you for making this thread. I don’t have much advice just wanted to let you know your not alone and to show you some love and support, it will get better. It has too. :pray:

4 Likes

I’m not a specialist in the treatment of bipolar, but I know there are forms of psychotherapy that can be very helpful in alleviating its symptoms (together with medication). I got diagnosed with a Personality Disorder after I got sober, also got depressed and was on medication for a year. Now I’m nearly finished with 19 months of group therapy specific to my diagnosis, and damned did it help! I think you’re right in trying to find something that’s specific to your bipolar. Treatment is only possible because we are sober. If we stay under the influence we will never be able to get the help we need.

4 Likes

Its great to hear that you are doing well after your treatment! It gives me hope that I will get there too eventually as long as I stay sober. I totally agree that if I wasn’t sober I would care less about my mental health. That’s the first step and now the rest of the hard work begins.

3 Likes

I agree with you that diving deeper into AA will not help your mental health conditions. However, using that logic and finding meetings or support groups that deal with your mental health conditions can be helpful. I know sometimes I’m so ashamed of being depressed or imbalanced that I let it eat at me and it drives me further into my head. Finding someone to talk to who understands exactly how you feel is beneficial not just because it helps humanize what you are going through, it also gives you the chance to hear exactly what you are thinking. It can be easier to rationalize our fears and deal with our sadness when we hear those things out loud. You said you accepted your diagnosis. That is huge and not an easy thing to do. You have to accept some of your thinking is irrational and flawed. So not everything you are thinking is true. It’s scary and can make you feel flawed as a human, but just think of it this way. Some of those negative thoughts about yourself and the world around you is not true… Not aware if you are taking medication but obviously if you aren’t staying on a schedule or having to switch medications it can have a major impact on your mental health.

4 Likes

Thanks for the suggestion. I have done a few online support groups i found through the Depression and Bipolar support alliance and I agree it helps. It just hard sometimes to want to engage at all when I’m really in the weeds. I do take meds and have been trying to get them right since this depressive episode hit me and I’ve needed more than just the one I had been taking to even function at all. So I’m trying as much as I can on the days I have it in me.

3 Likes

so recognizable what you say. I haven’t been sober for as long as you, but at 7 months I can tell that my world is turned upside down. I’m looking for my place. The past comes back at least flashes of thoughts. What I could always hide away so well for 17 years I now have to deal with it. With the AA or NA, the 12 step program I feel out of place because I don’t think it is a good idea to dig into my past again, I have already done that in the clinic and have conversations with a therapist and medication. I think it’s important to feel in myself what I need. There are many types of 1 on 1 or group therapies. Depending on your past and needs, you can discuss your options with your psychologist.

1 Like

Don’t spend too much energy on comparing your experiences to other peoples’ or what worked for them. It can help but it can be pretty harmful too. Instead try to reconnect with yourself. Our bodies (including brains) are constantly sending us little (or big) “hints”, we just like to ignore them. It’s (im)perfectly human :slight_smile:

I’d also suggest that if the meds “help” right away and only for a brief period of time like a week, it’s most probably bc of the placebo effect. Mood stabilising meds tend to take longer to start working. I’m surprised your therapist wouldn’t bring that up. (I’m not a medical professional and I may be missing something so you can just ignore me in that case).

Good luck x

3 Likes