Okay so I understand that I've been frequently drinking since I was 16 or 17 and of course I had tried it before then but I'm talking about people knowing me for getting drunk.
I've had a few of the same friends since I was a freshman in highschool, some of them a while before that.
I was always teased for being either awkward or too quiet, even by a few friends of mine. It made me hard on the outside when I'm a huge softy with lots of love to give. I have been quiet and observant since I was a child and I watched how people interacted and analyzed their words.It frustrated me that not everyone stopped to see how people truly are and made me have a hard time fitting in.
I believe this is my main reason for drinking. I so badly wanted to stop observing people and taking everything to heart...news flash drunk people take everything personal!well...me as a drunk did.I turn into an arrogant aggressive take no bullshit let's stay up all night and party type of drunk...
And then came the teasing about me as a drunk.Which just added more pain
Today I scrolled through my old fb posts and one was from before I met my husband I wrote " bring on the Halloween partys!" And someone wrote "noone is going to invite you" I laughed and went along with the supposed joke but that actually hurt, and it hurt to reread.It reminded me that people don't really like to invite the drunk friend...or maybe they do since I was always invited, maybe it made them feel better about themselves.
Let me get to the point of the title of this
This same friend asked me to go out for drinks right now and I told her I stopped drinking about a month and a half ago....she replied telling me "
oh you did that's good. I haven't drank since we last drank together.Im kind of in a drinking mood, we are all planning on going out I'll let you know."
I just told her okay no worries.
You know what woulda been nice? " Wow that's amazing I'm so happy for you"
...
Dear friend who can sometimes be in the "mood" for drinking,
....I wonder what that's like...because I think about alcohol all the time, I used when I got in all sorts of moods! A stress relief mood, a happy mood, depressed mood, bored mood, a just because mood. So which of those drinking moods fit your exact mood, because I don't simply get in a " drinking mood".
Sincerely, An Alcoholic.
......end rant....lol
Thanks @Oliverjava
I need to take my own advice and realize that she just doesn’t understand.
I’ve always been the friend that gets wasted…and I’m starting to see that people don’t really like it when you change the bad habits you are usually known for. I think maybe it made them feel like "well at least I’m not like that"
I guess it’s like they say though What other people think of you is none of your business "
I realize my post was a bit of an angry messy rant but I was frusterated.I think I’ll leave it up though because these are just some of the emotions we go through when we decide to get sober, and that’s okay.
I’ve learned that you just can’t tell certain people what you’re doing until you’re ready. People can be very insensitive to your new choices. You will prob discover that some of your friendships are based on the foundation of alcohol, and will notice who stays by your side and who doesn’t. It’s a good way to weed out toxic friends!
@Matto224 exxxacctlllly. They almost don’t take you serious and brush it off. As hurt as I was from her response I said no worries and thought to myself, you’ll see.
This friend of mine obviously has no addictions and I’ve heard her say it’s been months or weeks since she drank anything and I always wondered what that was like.
I want to be able to say “I haven’t drank in a year” When someone asks.Maybe I should just say I don’t drink anymore…idk , I’m not sure there’s a right way to say it.I feel weird when it comes out of my mouth either way.lol
@Phishface09 sadly I’ve waited to tell her and her response was still not what I hoped for. Maybe expecting too much out of to her people is something I should steer away from. All I know is when any of my friends decide to quit something I will be there biggest supporter, knowing that’s what I wanted.
Yeah I definitely will have to weed some friends out which sucks, but I’m sure it’ll work out for the better