I have this one rule: if something is not used for 1 year it get’s kicked out. And yet I had sooo much useless shit I had to throw in the trash when I moved For now I only buy furniture I need, no decorating stuff. I hope my apartment won’t turn into a mess again
I noticed as I was cleaning out the closets, the things that I got rid of where mostly things people offered to us for free or things purchased on clearance. I’m a sucker for free and my wife is a sucker for cheap. In reality, we don’t need those things.
I have a rule now, only acquire things we love. I want a down jacket and I found some on clearance, my wife told me to get one, but it wasn’t a color or style I loved, I would have settled and probably wouldn’t wear it much, wich would end up taking space. So I told her I’ll buy one later, one that I love, even if it costs a little more, at least I’ll love it.
I’m doing this with clothes too. I only buy what I really really like AND what I need. For example when one pair of shoes is ruined I buy new shoes. I own 3 pair of shoes for colder weather and 2 pair of barefood sandals. That’s it.
I’m loving this thread. I just finished cleaning out my closet and it looks so much better. Now, I’m tackling old pictures. My husband scanned a stack, but getting rid of the originals is the next step and I’m stuck.
Looks good man! My garage was full of shit since we moved in 13 years ago. I had an old Mustang that needed a head gasket, never got around to it. I lost the title over the years, one day last summer we got the title replaced and I sold it and an old Bronco in our driveway. Then cleaned out the garage and was just about to actually start parking my car in it, then my FIL passed and now its full of his crap… ugh. Back to square one. I think I’ll spend a few hours in there tomorrow, see what I can do.
Dude. Ups on even starting! I have this vague memory that once a little is done it feels good and snowballs.
6 months sober and my place is still embarrassingly cluttered. I… honestly don’t know what’s stopping me. I never used to be like this and it’s gnawing at me.
@Allicat388 posted about another Netflix show on cleaning up recently. May be a good watch.
So I’d like to get people’s opinion; how much stuff from your childhood do you hold on to? How do you let it go?
Personally, I only have one thing in my possession from my youth, and that’s an old blanket that I am fixing to get rid of. My wife on the other hand has my garage full of boxes of her stuff, and my loft upstairs full of boxes of her stuff, all from her childhood.
As I mentioned before, she’s a bit of a hoarder and gets emotional when we discuss letting go of some stuff. It makes it difficult for me because I get so frustrated having my house taken over and I cannot seem to have productive talk without it escalating.
So, are there strategies for letting go, process you go through? I was thinking of taking pictures of stuff for keepsakes, does anyone do that?
I need to get a handle on this before I go bat shit crazy and do something incredibly stupid.
I moved in March and made some big decisions while packing. I didn’t want to bring anything useless into the new house. Personally I’d rather have a few higher quality items than a lot of mediocre items.
So maybe start with one room. The bathroom is fun. The kitchen is usually full of non sense. Don’t take a lot of time on each item. Just kinda quickly; does it work? Is it broken? Do you have multiples of the same item? When’s the last time you used it? Then throw it away.
It might feel wasteful at first but you will feel soo much better in the long run.
I’m an emotional packrat. My girlfriend has been helping me with this, I have a lot of stuff from not only when I was a kid but things I’ve inherited from my family members that have passed away. Some of it is heirloom quality, that stuff stays for now. The stuff that I have like paintings, knick knacks, old clothes etc I don’t need it all and I don’t really love most of the items-I just have them because I loved my aunt for example. Like my girlfriend said, I loved HER so I don’t need all this stuff to memorialize her. Keep a few things that when you hold them it truly brings you joy, take photos of the ones that don’t and ditch them.
My gramma said last night to me after I told her I looked around my house this week and said most of my stuff I can live without, “Be careful cleaning out your stuff Manda, we will replace that empty space for you with something else”. Which is true, she is getting ready to get rid of stuff in her house too that she’s had for over 50 years and I care about the history behind stuff. I’m the only one in my family who does so she wants a lot of it to go to me. Sooo, looks like my big purge will be a bit later this year!
I spent 4 hours decluttering and organizing my office. It was instant stress relief. I actually feel more productive having everything labeled and in place
I have not kept many things from my childhood. Like you I do have a blanket. But I don’t have much else. And, the truth is, it sometimes makes me sad. I didn’t keep things because it hurt too much at the time (bad memories) but now that I’m older I would like to look back on some stuff. My childhood wasn’t “bad” I just felt bad.
I’m sure there has to be some sort of happy medium.
We’re still remodeling so the floors aren’t finished BUT I love my bathroom closet. I know where everything is & where everything goes. I was excited to buy cute organizers. I mean I know it’s not perfect but it’s perfect for me.
My wife recently said that she doesn’t want to let go of her parents stuff because then it will be like they didn’t exist. I’m trying to understand her point of view, but it’s difficult. Shes very emotionally attached to things. I’m gonna have a talk with her tonight about it. I know she wants to get a storage unit, but I can play the tape through and I see us still paying in 5 years.
I have my blanket as well. Year books & tons & tons of pictures. I just threw away a bunch of old Christmas ornaments which was kinda hard but 1. I don’t even put up a Christmas tree & 2. I don’t have kids to save them for. But even if I did have kids why would they want my old crap???
I love this! Come and do that to my place!! Hahaha
That’s tricky to combat. Honestly, a therapist may be better suited to why she feels so attached to “stuff”. I kept very few things of my dads when we sold the house but I cherish them. His glasses, the hat he died wearing, the dinosaur figurine mom and I bought him (not the momma!), a sweatshirt and his military paperwork. From my childhood I have 2 ornaments, my yearbooks, poetry I wrote and photos mostly.
I take pictures of everything because I have a bad memory but now looking at pictures to me is just as good as having most of the real items. It took me a long time to get there though. Now that im letting go of my attachments, its finally much easier to let things go as I can see a lot of it now as just “stuff” but there were some pretty deep seeded issues in there I had to deal with to get there.
So this is just part of what I’m working with. This is about 1/4 of whats in the house, not including the garage. All stuff from her Dad’s house. If we could some how shrink it down to one or two scrap books and maybe a display or two, that would be awesome.
That’s sad because you can just tell it’s a pile of memories. I doubt your wife needs a porcelain doll jewelry box & I would be surprised to learn that you own a working VCR.
This is definitely deeper than just decluttering & organizing.
My mother is, idk, I don’t want to say a hoarder but she is. Similar to the stories above she cherishes family heirlooms, large pieces of furniture along with old notes & letters. I’ve tried to help her but it always ends with her crying. Now I just tell myself, it’s her life, it’s her house.
You really don’t have that option though since it’s also your house.
I wouldn’t push your wife too hard too fast.
Maybe start by cleaning & organizing the areas you spend the most time in first. Then casually bring up an item of two. Idk, I’m no expert. But I know people get intense about their “stuff”.
I just asked my girlfriend who helps me with all of this, her advice on inheritance items is this:
Ok, so you have to look at these things and think 'why am I keeping this? Does it make me happy and send a thousand wonderful memories of the person who gave it to me? Or, am I saving it because I feel like I HAVE to. And if that’s the case, do I REALLY have to, or would it be ok to take a picture, and then let it go off into the universe to make someone else happy. If it doesn’t make me happy would the person who gave it to me want that?
Yeah, it’s tough because I can tell you that 95% (give or take) of that stuff, no one other than my wife has a connetion to. I get keeping family keepsakes to pass down, but truth is, if my wife left this earth today, no one would keep that stuff.
We did agree today to make shadow boxes with her boxes of eauropean money that she has. And a display case for her shot glasses that she has collected.
We also talked about making a scrap book for eavh of the kids to save the “highlights”.
But as soon as I am making progress, it all falls a part. I just listed a video game for sale, one that we used to play a lot, but we don’t have the console, nor a TV the console would even work on, and she asked me not to sell it. Ugh…
Thanks @MandiH that helps. I’ll be asking her those questions when we start to go through her stuff.