Every time I stop drinking I feel a deep, dark sadness. I walk through my days on the verge of tears but can never just release and cry. I’ll get 4-5 days but then go back as I want a break from the intense feelings. I am wracked by crazy, anxious thoughts. A few examples; I don’t understand website optimisation or know how to program…I’ll never be able to look for a new job; the earth is burning and all anyone cares about is money; I hate my job but love taking care of my children so need the income. And so on…I can’t seem to find a way to get over the bridge even though I keep reading/hearing that sobriety is so much better. Any advice is welcome. Thank you.
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Don’t have to much time just now as I have to go out, I do know about your feelings on the world and greed and power and how we’re destroying everything, it’s over whelming, because of this I literally stopped social neadia and watching TV… I just do books, documentaries and movies or I end up in a rage and depressed at the way the world works. People say I have an obligation to know what’s going on. But I don’t have an obligation at all. Not if the obliged people who can make big changes don’t, and certainly don’t care. Then I not going to… This is part of my angst too, for now I’d say step away from it, if it triggers you… And find stuff that eases your mind… Maybe a bit to obvious, but wanted you to know you’re not alone, many of feel disenfranchised… A lot!!! There is a world of us out there… I do try to perspectify… With things like, 1.1 billion the people in the don’t have access to electricity, about half the world don’t have access to a smart phone to be able to post on things like this… I try to remind myself I’m lucky I guess… Not sure if that’s patronising or helps, certainly not meant to be the former… Its just one way I use… Hope you feel better today…
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With you on this @Greymook. Ive stopped paying attention to what is going on in the world.
It breaks my heart that people are suffering in a world where there is so much greed to be the best, richest whatever.
Not a lot I can do about it as I want to stay sane and sober.
It’s not that I don’t care. I just haven’t got the bandwidth for it.
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World will always be as it is dont you take its worrys on your shoulders , try a meeting they will make being sober easier and make you more responsible for your actions like looking for anew job wish you well
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I used to be like that. So did many others on this board. I am no longer like that, neither are the others.
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Like @Forged said, many of us had to go thru this same process. When we take away our form of escape (alcohol), we allow our body and the emotions we have been escaping from to arise. These feelings are okay…they may feel like they will kill you…but they won’t. Allowing ourselves to actually FEEL again is part of our healing. Feeling our sadness for all the world is okay. Releasing our need to live in a perfect world is okay as well. Realizing we live in a perfectly imperfect world, we can let ourselves feel our ache for the world and let it go. We can feel the joy of the world as well, something funny our kid said, we have internet access and can get on here, we have a roof over our heads, food to eat. The sadness can stick around if we try to avoid it, if we can acknowledge it and let it go, we can move forward.
Of course if you are depressed, not just sad, then you should seek a doctor and work with them on a solution. But if your sadness is all those feelings your alcohol usage was hiding, that there is some of our work of recovery. 
You are not alone in feeling this!
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I feel this way all the time. Combat vet dealing with all the %&$! That comes with it. I have recently learned through counselling to allow these feelings to get through. Cognitive processing therapy (CPT) may be something you can check into. Im a former Marine which involves alot of baggage. Will be unpacking a long time. Hang tough and keep sharing.
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Thanks to all who have responded. It feels less lonely to hear from you. I’ve heard the phrase ‘the truth will set you free but it will have its way with you first’ and also ‘truth is expensive’. Both resonate…if I allow all this to come up and out I might have to make both g changes. I’m terrified the whole house of cards of my life will come tumbling down and hurt those I love even if it’s right for me. I do want to stop for all the reasons-early sobriety is just super hard.
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