Thans @anon13078412 I really missed seeing you on here, but I totally get it 
Hope you pace yourself for a while 
Dr’s appointment is tomorrow. I am open minded about SSRI’s, but nervous (the irony!). I will give him all my info and see what he has to say. I hate taking prescription drugs though, so if he thinks that’s the way to go … I’ll have lots of questions! But that’s all for tomorrow. I’m trying to be in the ‘now’ right now… although I am questioning the whole Christmas tree thing!! 
@ifs, James mate I wasn’t on the forum when you reached your year sober so I will take the opportunity now to congratulate your massively, from posts of your that I have read on here I know that you deal with and have on a daily basis overcome one hell of a lot and I respect you humoungesly for that (is that a word?) And your a bloody helpful person in this community . Your an inspiration dude. 
I want to adopt him.
He’s a fighter isnt he. I know the thought of taking a prescription drug can be daunting but if they think it will help them it’s got to be worth a shot.
I started listening to the radio again today, I stopped as I refuse to listen to any Christmas songs before December and they seem to start playing them in November, only bought one Christmas present so far aswell, I’m determined to enjoy this Christmas though, it will be the first in a long time.
I’ve missed everyone here too! Ahem all correctly spelt:joy:
I started drinking heavily at 14. Lots of drugs and crazy bullshit for 18 years, then the day came when I decided enough was enough.
I quit drinking, and smoking cigarettes on the same day. A couple months in I realized the emotions I was feeling were not just ‘part of recovery’. I went to get a referral from my doctor for mental healthcare.
Where I lived, it took me 8 months to get seen by a mental health provider, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, and another month to be prescribed medication. I was completely sober, unmedicated Bipolar 1 for 9 months.
I walked. I excersize. I worked on finishing my home remodel. I went on adventures with my nephews. I binge watched dozens of tv shows. I hid at home on the bad days, because I was a sober, unmedicated Bipolar person and I was anxious and emotional -and I didn’t want to put other people through dealing with my crazy, or take a chance on drinking.
Now, I am 2 years into my journey of getting bipolar medications correct. I am just coming out of a mania that was many months long, so we added seroquel, and upped my limotrigine.
I do yoga daily, I meditate, I journal, I do CBT, I am learning to sew and make things with my hands, I go to therapy.
I talk to people openly about my thoughts, and emotions. I figure if I can tell someone that I am ‘having a bipolar day’ and describe what I’m going through and how it actually feels (I said the other day that mania makes it feel like I can feel my emotions rushing through my veins, like I could explode with the slightest nic), it’s better than them not understanding, and many people are grateful for my open approach to talking about how my mental illness effects me.
Write down everything, and if you are writing anyway, try some cognitive behavioral therapy. Let me know if you ever want to chat. Dual diagnosis is really really common.
Sorry, friend. I know the negativity isn’t helpful.
I really liked your post
Its just sad that the OP re-started the thread, even though there were some dodgy posts in the first wave, and now … this…
It is really disappointing 
Edit: Well a couple of posts are going to look weird now that the rant posts have been removed! Thank you @SassyRocks and @C-sun .
OK @driftwood … Third attempt 
I have removed the AA discussion from here and reopened the thread. Lucky that c-sun was on duty, not me, because this was not a constructive conversation about AA. And derailing such an important thread is unfortunate.
We are here to help and heal. Please try to remember that.
Hopefully you can find your footing again and help each other in this thread. And hopefully the negativity will stay out.
So, just as an update to my post earlier: Since getting on my new med, and upping my other one, I am leveling out. I’ve used the word ‘Calm’ for myself on a couple days recently.
No one has ever used that word to describe me, or any part of my life. Especially me. I didn’t know ‘Calm’ existed. I’m still having emotions and such, but my body and brain are finally relaxing.
I am getting to fully enjoy everything I’m doing, because I’m not constantly following racing thoughts, and shiny things, and squirrels.
I quit drinking almost three years ago. This was not a quick outcome, but I just kept on being an advocate for myself, and working every day to be better. A positive outcome keeps me working for more. I am seeing results.
There’s hope, guys. But it is grueling work sometimes.
I would love some more calm. Happy to hear that @Sober_Ninja…sounds like good stuff for your mental well being.
I have clients who have a range of SMI’s and mental health disorders and one thing that seems to help across the board is a companion animal or therapy pet. Probably not a great fit in every scenario but something to look in to.
Cate, I saw my doctor about 2 months after I got sober. I was nervous about taking an SSRI but figured that if it would help balance me out until I could cope with out it then why not.
It’s worked so far.
Just be honest with them.
That’s really great to know. Thank you
If you can’t have your own, you can babysit other peoples pets. I just spent the last 24 hours doing just that!
I look at medications as tools. Not something I’m married to forever. I’ve been on antidepressants for a long time and never have considered how my drinking may impact their efficacy. I’ve always told my doctor I drank about 5-10 drinks a month. That was true about 6 years ago. In the last six years my drinking ramped up year to year. In the last year it really became a problem. I haven’t been back to my psychiatrist since I quit drinking in September. I have an appointment in two weeks and I’m planning on telling him everything. I’m really curious what, if any, changes he makes.
@C_8 and @driftwood - hey y’all…
Depression and anxiety are the worst. As I mentioned somewhere way on up the thread, I have struggled with them on an off for years. In fact, I’m in a little valley right now. Not the full on A DEMENTOR JUST ATE MY SOUL darkness, but low enough to feel kinda lousy.
I know this: Sobriety has helped exponentially. For me, though, I also needed help from outside professionals. I have been on several different antidepressants at various times in my life; I’m currently on Wellbutrin and Zoloft. Sobriety gives these a fighting chance to work. One week out of the month I bump up the Zoloft dosage. I also have to take some progesterone a couple of weeks each month. Hormones, man…anyways…By and large, my quality of life has improved sooooo much. Maybe think of it this way:. If you suddenly found out that you were severely diabetic, would you give a second thought to taking insulin? Psych meds are just the same - they just treat a different kind of illness.
If either of you have specific questions or just want to chat, please feel free to PM me. I’m happy to share my experience if it would help at all.
Has anyone been on Wellbutrin? When I first saw a GP for drinking she prescribed that, thinking along the lines that it’s in chantix that helps smokers. Apparently it lowers your seizure threshold too… Dodged that bullet. WB worked about like coffee, I guess.
Also been on Prozac and Celexa. Both were okay… Celexa was very numbing. But I distinctly remember road rage going away 
Thanks @crystalclear Yeah, it will be interesting to see what he says. Please keep us posted. 
I’m only open to SSRI’s now that alcohol is out of my system.
While I was drinking (I was up to around 10-14 beers a day), I figured that I am drowning myself with buckets of depressant, so why ingest an antidepressant to try to balance the chemical damage I’m inflicting on myself?
