I started drifting into the seasonal depression about two weeks ago… and I have been deep, deep in it in the past few days.
It does usually get worse in the dark and cold season. But I am now 55 days sober - and I don’t quite remember the last time I somehow managed to get through this sober. I am 37 now. I think my drinking got really bad when I was 31 or 32… and yet, I just don’t remember anymore how I could get through this before that. Maybe just that I was younger, and I thought there would still be hope. Now I don’t. I mean, 37 is technically not old either, but I am a single woman, with not much of a career and not much of a hope for a family in the future either, and I probably just bumped up against the wall hardcore, and I am really not sure my sobriety serves much.
Especially that my seasonal depression is easily debilitating by now. I left work early yesterday, because I kept randomly breaking down crying, and couldn’t get anything done. I didn’t even go to work today, because I was in the same mental state.
And now I really just want to buy my wines, and escape from this, even if temporarily. I know a relapse is bad, but this is crushing, and I do need a crutch right now.
Sorry for the flooding. But,
i think I was always prone to depression, and oversensitivity, since I was a small child.
If anyone has this sort of experience, on how to cope with depression when newly sober, or how to cope with staying sober while in active depression, I would really appreciate it.
Hi, I have bipolar disorder. I have drank for approx the last 15 years after replacing cocaine with booze. I am on my third day sober and it’s really hard, especially as I am in a deep depression too. I am also looking for help and ideas.
I think you are so brave sharing. I suffer from depression as well and I get you! You should really take Care of yourself now, when Days are getting darker and colder. Do not grab wine, grab some really nice tea and A lot of vitamins. I relapsed due to depression yesterday, and didnt go to school, but you know and I know that is never going to make us feel better. I think it is really hard and brave to stay sober when you just want to escape this ubexplainable pain in you.
I hope you stay strong, you can always write me!
I wasn’t going to reply but I figured we might be similar and perhaps this would help. I’m 51, will be 52 in January. I detest the winter months just because of the darkness, the cold I can tolerate. In Wisconsin this will be the case till at least April but we have received snow in May during my lifetime. I saw a post here today that read “one day at a time”. I know this is fairly consistent here on the forum but on this day, I needed a reminder. Try to focus on one positive thing. Today I am focusing on dinner with my kids, not going to think about tomorrow.
Hey Vera. Just to say you’re not alone. I’m 18 months sober and have been working out how to get through the depression that has been kicking my arse more than I ever remember. I’m not sure I have a good answer except for take it one day at a time. Get outside and move as much as you can manage. When you can’t, don’t. Meditation and yoga can help. Eating healthy is what you’re supposed to do, but sometimes junk food just helps. Count the wins, no matter how small. Try and focus on the things you’ve done, instead of how you feel. Don’t beat yourself up for the things you don’t feel able to do, meet yourself where you’re at. Reach out and build your community here and in real life. It doesn’t make it go away but it helps the days add up. Keep on keeping on friend, the sun will rise again
Hold on to this feeling. This is what happens when you drink. It doesn’t make you feel better. It just delays the misery, and adds guilt/shame/regrets/accidents/arguments/injuries/nausea…
