Riddled with anxiety and guilt. I was a heavy daily Vodka drinker, and had the feeling of not knowing how I was going to handle life without my little security blanket to escape to anymore. I was anxious about going to my doctor and laying all the cards on the table about my “little secret”, then going to my first AA meeting…the suspense of not knowing what it was going to be like. Then of course all the guilt for how I had been such a jackass to my spouse, friends and loved ones. Never did so much apologizing in my life! Then lots of sleepless nights and bad dreams.
I’ll tell you, though: once I finally surrendered and reached out for help, and finally admitted to myself that, YES…I DO indeed have a problem…it was like a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Getting sober was the smartest decision I ever made.
I wish you success. You can do this, and we’re all cheering for you.
Like others have mentioned, it differs for every person. My first week sober was the beginning of this year, and some parts are still a bit of a blur.
My DOC was alcohol, and I was a daily heavy drinker. I went cold turkey and ended up being hospitalized because of delirium tremens. I was fortunate to get the medical help because I was very close to not making it because of my decisions. Lots of cold sweats, shakes, hallucinations, and seizures. It was terrifying, but it was forcing me into sobriety.
I had several people in my life who cared about me, and the love I felt from them helped give me the motivation and courage to get through it. I realized that I couldn’t keep hurting the people around me, including myself so I went into rehab.
I since stupidly relapsed a few times. Each time, I went back into withdrawals: insomnia, sweats, shakes, anxiety, and just generally sick. I should’ve got medical attention after the relapses, but I spent most of the time in bed, trying to stay hydrated and eating what I could.
The main thing that always allowed me to push through was reminding myself why I want and need to be sober. Without sobriety, I wouldn’t be able to stay alive at this point. And with that sobriety, I can be there for the people I love. I can see their happiness and pride for me because I’m finally doing better. I can finally be present in their lives.
The withdrawals were painful for me, but are now a reminder of why I never want to go back.
Sending you strength and love. Keep pushing through, you will never regret being sober. It’ll get easier and more manageable with time.