Yep here we go, headaches and still feeling the shoulder pain cause didn’t use alcohol. But remembering a few things. One I did this to myself. Two it’s better to have a clear head then a hung over or drunk one. Three detoxing from drugs 18 years ago was much louder and life threating seizures from overdosing, to making myself serverley sick from my own under cooking of scallops. I have never done that before and I’m an excellent cook. Thankful that my daughter nor my mother are it cause I would have put them at risk. Four knowing from having my online personal trainer 2 years back that yeah I’m gonna crave what I can’t have for a little but hopefully it would be like that first few weeks when I wasn’t allowed naughty food (alcohol is now naughty), whew the mood swings of being on those first few weeks opening the cupboards look and slamming them shut. Is worth it cause if I can get from 250 pounds to 166.4 today well yeah I hope it’s not as bad as those sugar withdrawals. Five no more black outs like the past two weeks of nights where I wake and think oh gawd who did I drunk call or text. 
Yeah now in that clear head that is scary too. 
The topics or sex talk or not knowing which personality came out. Fawk, being adult-ting lol. Above all set my goals, know my triggers and reach out. Life is good and hey clear head means better for job searching, reading, able to refocus fully on my goals. Happy that finally work life is better from not having then demon woman there. Knee is never gonna be all the way recovered from the injury but that hasn’t stopped me from training again to work towards my 7k jogs. And finally finally gonna send back the presents that my abusive father sent through my beautiful sister for my daughter back to him including the money. 
No more putting off shit because of drinks. Instead now sparkly water, gonna find some excellent teas and hey without those sugars drunk or laying down at night not hearing my heartbeat in my ears while on my pillow.
One day, two days at a time. Not each one is easy and full of greatness but each one counts. And tattoos are easier to save for. 