Like many on here I’m surrounded by people who drink and who are otherwise not as supportive as “I” would like. But this morning when I woke up I realized just how much “I” have become focused on “me” and the relationship “I” have with alcohol, not just with “me” but others around me. Although I don’t define “myself” by the struggle I have with alcohol, I’ve hypocritically let it define and put a black cloud over many of my relationships because ‘they’ drink.
Today I woke up with a personal epiphany. I drank because I hurt, it was
a bandaid and not a true reflection of who I am as a person. Could it be that those around me hurt too and are just reacting to their past INCLUDING (now here it is) “ME” and who “I” was?! mind blown lol
Although I’m one of the least selfish people I know when it comes to giving of my time and resources, I am admittedly extremely selfish once I start drinking. My time and resources (and even that of others) are no longer spent lovingly but selfishly. I realized that I am in debt to a lot of these people around me and I can start paying them back by being patient and seeing them beyond their own personal relationship with alcohol… and even start encouraging rather than condoning them in my heart, my motivating force.
I started looking at each person and seeing them ‘beyond the drink’ for who THEY are and the qualities I truly appreciate. I also tried to see and recall as much as I could how my selfish drinking could’ve hurt them therefore making it harder for them to be around “ME” without drinking, as let’s be honest, I drank to make it easier to be around them.
I didn’t expect to wake up to such a paradigm and it’s definitely “sobering” to look at myself and them in reverse order. It’s not always about “ME” and when it is, there’s usually drinking involved, but take away the drink and what are we left with?! Lots and lots of potential within each one of “US”.
