Difficult Time - Triggered

Hey all,
I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t been on here since my last post because I am repeating bad behaviors. I have no excuses for myself, but I’m finding it difficult to not want to drink. I’ve been laid off since Covid started, I’m alone 24/7 and the temptation to numb everything around me is high.
My husband and I just traveled across country because his sister overdosed on heroine and passed away last week. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions, family and being at home. I’ve been triggered so much lately. My home state, Wisconsin, is where I became an alcoholic, and it has since then been my biggest fear. I was terrified to run into people I knew from my past life.
I’ve been going to therapy, which has been a lifesaver. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t understand my alcoholism problem. He can be extremely judgmental and narrow minded.
I just need individuals to talk to who get it. Who I can talk about feelings and thoughts.
I’m thankful for this forum.
Take care and God bless,
Rhonda

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Hi Rhonda, I’m really glad you are back and still in the fight. Sending a big hug your way, I’ll see you around campus! :hugs:

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Keep checking in here. Your sobriety and recovery is about you. I try not to expect my partner to help. When around other drinkers, users, I always have my own drink in hand. When I see someone from my past that I have had a problem with, I just say hello and am polite. I don’t feel the need to get into long conversations. If it’s someone I need to make an amend to, I’ll get their number and call later. These r just my thoughts. I feel the same way about going to my home state. I moved from MI to CA. So, I think I know how you feel. With family and funeral, I try to be there for others and not think about myself, listen, and help out in kitchen out wherever I might be needed (watching kids, cleaning up, running errands, etc.). You get the picture. And going to 12 step meeting is always an option. Take care. You can do this. :unicorn:

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That sounds like a hell of a lot to deal with. Meeting people from the past brings up a lot emotion. I moved to the other side of the planet to avoid it lol. It may not work for you, but part of my job involves having some extended periods of time with no work. During those times I make plans of what to do. Usually sobriety activities in the morning, online meetings, podcasts, journaling, whatever, some work or study after lunch, exercise on Mon Tues and Weds , make sure to include leisure but a schedule helps Mr not feel lost and prone to triggers.

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