You do know that you are the one holding the shovel, right? Are you ready to stop digging? Are you willing to change? You do keep coming back here, and that is positive effort showing that you can align your intentions with your actions.
There are many ways to get sober, and they all have this in common. It starts with not drinking, not using, for an hour, then for a day. We don’t drink or get high between awakening and laying our head on a sober pillow that night.
Here’s another topic that might help you to get started, to establish your foothold on sobriety and hold fast to it.