So brought to my attention that chaos addiction is a thing
I’ve been having such high anxiety over I don’t know what , nothing
Even tho everything in my life is stable
School is going well, it’s not hard workload super manageable
I don’t have to worry about money rent Bills tuition it’s all handled stress free
I have a close friend who is a emotionally stable emotionally supportive person super understanding
I’ve distanced myself from my family, the triggering environment that just goes in a circle and isolated for the most part to try and start dealing with the inner work
Even tho everything is stable predictable with a mature person Nearby
I end up picking a fight , I didn’t know why
I wasn’t thinking rationally it just felt like something
It was a rush
I felt alive , My body and energy felt unclogged after long time
I do grasp that it is unhealthy
I want to channel this energy into something else , not just suppress it , I’ve suppressed enough
It has felt like a long time since I felt anything
Just typing this out here because I feel weird saying this in regular life lol