Discovering chaos

So brought to my attention that chaos addiction is a thing

I’ve been having such high anxiety over I don’t know what , nothing

Even tho everything in my life is stable
School is going well, it’s not hard workload super manageable
I don’t have to worry about money rent Bills tuition it’s all handled stress free
I have a close friend who is a emotionally stable emotionally supportive person super understanding

I’ve distanced myself from my family, the triggering environment that just goes in a circle and isolated for the most part to try and start dealing with the inner work

Even tho everything is stable predictable with a mature person Nearby

I end up picking a fight , I didn’t know why
I wasn’t thinking rationally it just felt like something
It was a rush
I felt alive , My body and energy felt unclogged after long time

I do grasp that it is unhealthy
I want to channel this energy into something else , not just suppress it , I’ve suppressed enough
It has felt like a long time since I felt anything

Just typing this out here because I feel weird saying this in regular life lol


I’m the same way, unfortunately. I’ve been told that I am an aderenaline junkie lol I like to think of it as always up for a challenge though. I do hope your major is a challenging one! Once I got into a field that gave me that fulfillment, I had enough of it by the time I got home.

I understand this,

My whole life I’ve been on the go, and experienced chaos.,

The self sabotage comes in, everything is right something has to happen, or I need something to happen before I’m caught off guard, start a fight, do something out of the ordinary, whatever it’s a damaging behavior and difficult to stop

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