Finally hit 18 days sober! I’ve been diving myself into helping the community, volunteering and doing things for others like I used to. It feels good to finally have a grasp on who I am and what I want to do with my life again. I’m not working right now and I’ve been helping a disabled family with babysitting, running errands with them and simply just spending time with them. This women hadn’t left her house in a year and had a panic attack in the grocery store and being able to walk her through it and reassure her that she can and will do it by herself felt so good. It felt good to help but also a reminder to myself that I can do it too. Sometimes I need a reminder things could be worst and I am capable. I love their 2 year old son! He has spina bifida and I’ve become his one and only friend! He’s had 4 surgeries but is walking and talking like it’s yesterdays news. That right there is strength. I may be his only friend but he’s my idol. It feels good to be helping myself, feeling healthy, having routine in my life and getting to do what I love the most which is helping people. I am truly feeling blessed that all of these opportunities and people are here for me now. Im tearing up writing this. It feels good to be able to actually function during the day because I’m not drowned in depression and emotion from my ex and my addiction. He didn’t cause my addiction…but he sure didn’t help. I feel terrible he’s struggling but at a certian point you can’t care about someone who doesn’t care about you and uses you as a personal emotional and physical punching bag. I am terrified moving forward alone but I’m realizing maybe being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world because I’ll always have my friends and family to be there when I need them the most. Gosh I probably sound like a cheese ball. I’m just proud of myself for getting back to my roots and feeling on top of the world. This is the first time in about a year or so that I’ve felt content with myself and my life in general. I thought things would be much different right now. I thought I’d still have a partner, I thought I would have a job, I thought I would be a million and one things. But right now I’m just excited to be sober and actively trying to move on and turn my life around. I have potential, I’ve just been weighed down by myself, others and my addictions. I’m ready to finally be the person I know I am and who I need to be for myself and others. I’m looking into more and more nonprofits to work with throughout my city and possibly short term in other countries. This is me and hear me rawr. Im back bitches and Im here to stay. For once I feel like I can breathe easy. There’s so much more to be done, but for now I’m content and happy to be it. Hope my ex is okay…he’ll figure it out. He always does. I just couldn’t be there with him while he took his time to figure himself out. After so many chances and after oh so many concussions and bruises you give up on a person. He’s sick and needs serious anger management help, I just hope he’s safe. I care and miss him but I have to keep reminding myself its for the best reguardless the circumstances that it happened…it makes me sad to think anyones hurting though. I’ve been there and I never wanted to put someone in a place of hurt like I once was. Life doesn’t always work out that way and sometimes you have to remind yourself when it comes to domestic abuse that they may be a good person but you don’t deserve hurt as much as they don’t. So stop defending them and take care of yourself. Anyways rant over. Just have had a lot on my mind and needed to vent a bit and share my success and happiness. Good bye abusive ex, hello old self, I’ve missed you bitch. Happy looks good on you 
Great positive share. Thanks. Good to hear that you are going well.
I loved the bit where you said that you were that kids friend but he was your idol.
Kids like that have such a great response to their life don’t they?
Well done.
Thanks for the love! I worked with medically fragile students in high school, and even though some of those kids had horrific ailments and had gone through multiple procedures, they were some of the happiest and joyful people I’ve ever met in my life. And xavier is definitely my idol. He has huge scars all over his tiny body from all his procedures and still runs around like a happy joyful kid. Hes happy and healthy and to go all through that at the age of 2 is true strength. I got a lot to learn from him. I taught him what an alligator was today and he made sure to hug me twice and tell me alligators go chomp chomp with there mouths before I left. precious
That’s so heart warming.
Well prepare to get toasty! I sure am
Just took Dylan xaviers dad into Urgent Care!! Got called at 430 in the morning that he thought he may have appendicitis. Rushed over and brought him to the ER. He’s got an IV in right now and waiting for the doctor now.
Dylans okay! He’s scheduled for surgery! I’m glad I got their call.
I’m so glad the young boys dad is going to be alright, so great you were sober and able to be of help and support. Keep going from strength to strength 
Glad to hear this Fiona!