Divorcing Alcohol Part 1

Yesterday when I decided to change my perspective and use my metaphorical way of thinking as an asset on this (hopefully finally) attempt of leaving alcohol behind forever, I decided to see alcohol not as a beverage but as an abusive companion that causes psychological, physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual harm. I’ve tried to leave, quit, and abstain from alcohol for about 18 years but I’ve never tried divorcing “Alcohol”, my new mental personification of the ultimate abuser. By attributing human characteristics to a non living substance somehow makes the relationship that I’ve built with it over the years more substantial and therefore I should become accountable to the role I play in it.

I looked up ‘how to quit drinking’ and the suggestions that came up were the same ones I’ve tried over and over and over for almost 2 decades. Things such as;

-Reach out to supportive people face-to-face
-Avoid triggers and triggering people - consider changing up your social circle
-Prepare for withdrawal symptoms
-Expect setbacks - it is important to be realistic about your recovery
-Take care of the rest of your health with exercise, a healthy diet, and plenty of sleep
-Learn more by reading the related articles

WONDERFUL suggestions and attainable solutions for some, but not for me. Instead I googled, ‘how to leave an abusive relationship’ and that opened up a whole new door of discovery into why I haven’t been able to leave Alcohol and move forward. Like any abusive relationship, I didn’t plan on getting into it, and by the time I realized I was in one, I’ve already invested18 years into this pattern of leaving and crawling back. So, I’m going to switch gears and follow the suggestions for leaving the emotional character Alcohol and not just the substance.

How to know your in an abusive relationship?
Recognize the Signs

CONTROL:

Person:
takes charge of money; demands to know your whereabouts; threatens to leave or throw you out; forces you to socialize, even if you don’t feel like it; withholds affection or attention; makes sure that the one thing you want is exactly what you won’t get
Alcohol:
takes my money (and that of others), makes me forget my whereabouts, by association gets me kicked out of places and relationships, changes the way I socialize, and makes sure that the one thing I want is exactly what I won’t get

ISOLATION :

Person:
causes a riff between you and your family; slowly makes you stop spending time with your friends; all of his friends are now your friends; doesn’t allow you to go places without him; withholds money so you can’t go anywhere
Alcohol:
(I could pretty much just cut and past the above here because its basically the same thing.)

CRAZY MAKING:

Person:
blames his mistakes on others; is a different person in public than he is at home; changes history (denies saying or doing something that you know he did); tells you you’re too sensitive; has unpredictable mood swings; twists your words and uses them against you
Alcohol:
turns me (an otherwise gentle, kind, easy going person) into an abusive person as outlined in the above… alcohol transforms me AGAINST MY WILL into a cray cray mess.

EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL:

Person:
disrespectful to you; harms animals or things you love; rolls his eyes at you; humiliates you privately or in public; seems energized by fighting; says things that make you feel good but does things that make you feel bad;
Alcohol:
(cut and paste the above here)

Basically, all signs as laid out by the definition of an abusive relationship point to the fact that I’m in love with a monster that by association turns me into one too. Alcohol has tricked me into loving it through physical and emotional reactions to its chemical effects! Putting it into this perspective has really fueled my spark of determination to leave such a destructive and abusive element in my life. I’m taking my control back from the clutches of a liquid and putting it back where it belongs, WITHIN ME!

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lol thank you! So far hardly even miss the punk that stole my youth :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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I’m not an example of a motivator, I just reset again… but I wish you the best of luck on your new journey.

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Perhaps we may not be the best at motivating but we certainly know how to support each other!
And non of us have quit trying to quit… tomorrow is another day.
If the snow has you down, by contrast the hot Hawaiian sun is a constant temptation to drink a cold brew!

We have way more in common than what sets us apart and theirs strength and hope in that!

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Awesome read, you have got a great perspective on cutting off your addiction. Sounds like you have got a good handle on it this time.

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Mahalo, I hope your right… perspective can be a tricky thing and like any longterm relationship, all is fair in love and war! But Im committed to winning this war! lol

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