Hey I’m still here! I’m almost to 4 months. And I have anxiety. I manage it mostly but since I’ve been sober I’ve noticed more of my little anxiety ticks and I’m working on them.
One thing that gets me though is sometimes when I’m going to sleep or trying to I’ll think remember things I did when I was drunk or hear about things I did when I was blacked out. And it will keep me up at night. Sometimes I have to leave my bf in bed make a bed on the floor in the living room and finally falling asleep at 5am. I feel so bad and I know I can’t do anything about what I did before so it just bums me out when it’s 2 am and I’m wide awake fighting with myself. Can’t tell if it’s anxiety or sobriety.
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It will be both to be honest, it does take a while to get used to calming music can help at night.
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Have you not got a sofa?
Seriously though, just push through this. My mind was all over the place for a few weeks. Going over things I’d done, worrying about the future.
No matter how many times we are told not to, we still do.
I just put anything and everything that my mind and body experienced as being part of the process and cracked on!
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I do but its extremely uncomfortable to sleep on hahaha. Working on getting a new one hahaha
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hahaha,
That’s what I love about my present sofa. Can really stretch out on it. It came in really useful in my early sobriety.
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** TRIGGER WARNING FOR PILL ADDICTS **
hi, ash! i struggled with what i referred to as ‘ruminating thoughts’ for YEARS. they were psychologically debilitating and 90% of it was cycling through my drunk behavior. i’m now sober and those thoughts eventually dwindled (not completely). one thing that a friend suggested, after i cried to her that i hadn’t slept in what felt like a month, was NyQuil (they now make which is ZzzQuil). take it that night and not regularly. i had never taken NyQuil for sleep, only when suffering the flu, etc. so it seemed out of left field that people took it for a sleep aid (i guess so much so that they made the sleep version). i had a few NyQuil pills in my med box on hand so i took it and whew, i slept like a fuckin’ rock for about 12 hours. woke up a whole new person. and it actually kick started my system. i began to sleep through the night. i wouldnt normally suggest cold medication to help, but i’m not kidding when i say it was a god send that night.
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i’ve taken Mag on evenings where i’ve been wired, but during that time i mentioned i was in a horrible, grueling cycling of not sleeping and needed a heavy hitter. but i do hear that it can leave the user feeling groggy the next day.
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I used zzquil for a bit and it really helped my sleep. But some generic brands can contain higher amounts of alcohol and its got fructose corn syrup i think.
Melatonin worked for me but I would have more crazy dreams with it. And if I woke up in the middle of the night it was harder to go back to sleep
Magnesium was good, but the kind I was taking needed to be mixed with water and if you take too much it can cause stomach issues.
Now I take something called Sleep Fairy and I don’t really recommend it. Now that I’m looking into it, I see it’s main ingredient for sleep is magnesium which is just clicking now why my stomach hasn’t felt very good after taking it.
I have this issue. I’m not a great sleeper to begin with and I was literally terrified of not ever being able to fall asleep again once I quit drinking. Then came the memories.
People drink because they are in pain. Until we address why we drink and deal with the shame and guilt, true sobriety doesn’t exist.
What I did was write down the memories. All the shameful behavior I put into a notebook as they came up… Then I would write down why I thought I did these things, and then most importantly I wrote down that I forgave myself and why. You have to pull out all that toxic shit, look at it, accept it for what it is and then put away. Forgive yourself for what you did while you were managing your pain.
Its super hard. I cried a LOT. But I started to feel better. That and a really good pre bedtime routine (you can find a lot of sleep hygiene tips online) will help you.
Good luck! Take care of yourself 
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Maybe a little shift in your mindset will help.
I know that for me all of my bullshit is what led me to sobriety.
If all of that crap didn’t happen, then I never would have been able to get and enjoy this sobriety. So all of it HAD to happen.
So for me it is a blessing. A gift. And not a regret. Because without all of that hurt and pain, I would still be out there
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