I’m not an addict. Meaning I don’t have a physical addiction to alcohol. What I do have is a strong tendency to be a “destructive drinker”. Wake up the next day paranoid, regretful, ashamed, panicked, etc. That is what I want to leave behind. Does that make sense? Are people in the same boat??
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Hi Thomas,
I had a strong psychological dependence on alcohol (mostly wine) but who’s to say there wasn’t an element of physical dependence in there? When I quit drinking, (first in 2019, thought I could moderate—a big No—and then for good last July), I didn’t have what you might call physical withdrawals. But when I was actively drinking, I had to drink every night. And I had to drink a certain amount or I felt quite unsettled/agitated. In the end, it didn’t matter what kind of dependence I had. Alcohol was harming me and I had to stop.
I hope you keep coming here and participating in this forum. Lots of wisdom and different sorts of journeys!
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Also, your post perfectly describes a phenomenon called “hangxiety,” which is a terrible feeling I experienced daily until I quit.
Edited to add: this article recommends solutions that stop short of recommending people quit drinking. It’s the simplest way to manage this condition and I highly recommend it (not the “solutions” in this article).
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Thank you very much for your elaborate response. I will also add, the older I get, the more intense those feelings get. I really like this community, and you’re correct, there is a ton of wisdom on this forum.
When you take a step back, and observe the world around you, it’s frankly amazing how much alcohol middle-aged adults drink. It speaks volumes about our society, and people living lives of quiet desperation. Why is it such an urge to escape day to day life?
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I think people get caught up in terminology far too much. Does alcohol negatively impact your life, and if it does why not just remove it?
The whole thing with alcoholism is that it’s a progressive disease anyway so if you give it enough chances it might end up getting you.
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Spot on!!! 
It does make sense and there are lots of people here who have a history of bingeing rather than physical dependence. I am one of them 
Personally I never defined myself as an addict or alcoholic (no judgement on anyone who does, like @liv_m says, the point is to find something that helps you!), but whatever way I describe it alcohol was a problem for me and I feel at home in the recovery community.
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The OP says they’re not an addict so why not just?
I think this a valid response. Is not the psychological part of addiction still physical in nature. If I’m craving something is that not a physical response to a psychological want?
In the end it’s all semantics to me. If I want to quit drinking and yet I continue to drink I am an alcoholic. It does not matter to me if the why is physical or mental.
Edit: this was another episode of Deep Thoughts With Derek”
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I agree… when we go through enough and think enough about it we realise that we’re alcoholics. My posts, the why not part was meant to provoke thought. That’s all
Another thought @MayTuck77 it seems to me that once the withdrawal bit is over (not to minimise that, it sounds awful) the challenges of staying sober are pretty similar regardless of whether we were physically addicted or not. We all have to learn new ways of dealing with whatever it was we were drinking instead of. Of course there will be lots of individual factors and all our journeys, the level of challenge we face etc will be different. But there’s a lot we can all relate to and like you say there is a ton of wisdom on this forum that we can all benefit from 
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