My kids mom was in jail then moved to work release.
She slipped her ankle monitor off and started using again.
She is now a wanted fugitive and it’s really messing with my recovery knowing she is out there using (crack)and I don’t know how this is likely to end. The last time I relapsed was because I thought If she was using that I wanted to get high to escape the worry.
I’m in a non stop spiral of worry. I’m not sure if she will ever reach out.
She doesn’t have a phone she just left with the clothes on her back. The facility she was at was only 2 blocks away from where she used to use. I let authorities know around where she was at.
Just don’t know how or when this will end. It’s hard to get peace of mind and focus on my recovery.
I have something simple and important to tell you: you are tired. You are not just worried, not just stressed, you are tired of being constantly alert.
This fatigue is real, and to stay sober, I recommend you get some rest.
I can just imagine the worry and sorrow you are going through . It’s hard to see someone we love hurt themselves like this. But there is nothing you can do for her right now. She knows where to find you once she is ready to get help.
Best you can do right now is stay focused on yourself. Share away, it always helps me to process the fear and anxiety.
Sorry to hear that, an awful situation.
Congrats on your clean time.
You helped a lot by sharing what you know with the authorities, they are in charge to take care, find her and get her back where she belongs atm.
I know that STOP WORRYING is not felt as helpful support right now, but nonetheless: STOP!
If you worry about her, your focus is NOT on yourself and your recovery is in danger.
There is absolutely nothing you can control or do about her.
Your first and foremost responsibility is to focus on yourself, up your efforts, use your tools, read and learn about about al-anon and codependency. Be kind and patient to yourself, pamper yourself, slow down, rest, meditate, write, journal, read, listen, share, go to meetings, and remind yourself: I am responsible for MY actions and nobody else.
In some kind we all have to learn that all we can do is take good care of ourselfs, stay sober and work through the hard times in an responsible, adult, calm and self-supporting way. Get help whereever you can. You are not alone and you are supported. Hugs to you and prayers to your loved one
I read your story here and didn’t know what to respond with. I got sober with an active alcoholic wife. It was brutal. I did a lot of Al-Anon to get my life manageable.
Anyway this year I’m only doing one reading in the morning. Courage To Change.
While I was reading it I was thinking of your post here. Keep It Simple.” I love how just one little slogan can help my day. Even today. I got shit tons of stuff to do. But now I’m going to keep it simple.
I’m very sorry you are having to deal with this right now. It’s definitely understandable why you are worried for her well being . Sadly unless she is ready to get clean there is not a lot you can do to help her right now. For now the best thing you can do as hard as it is, is continue to focus on you and your sobriety. You are doing very well with 73 days and need to keep going ODAAT. Hopefully she will find her way soon.
. It’s hard to see someone we love hurt themselves like this. But there is nothing you can do for her right now. She knows where to find you once she is ready to get help.
