I just want somebody I can grow with, I have so much love to give but nobody to give it to. I just want somebody by my side I can put my all into. Somebody that will appreciate me and put 100% into the relationship just like I would. Somebody that can understand how I feel inside.
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I can relate. Loneliness was a huge factor in my decent into addiction. I still spend far too much time by myself as I have gradually isolated myself over the past few years. Lots of rebuilding to do. What @anon67035918 says is right tho, we must love ourselves first and thats what im working on. Im getting there. It still does worry me that it’ll never happen tho😔 I hope it does happen for you.
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Ugh I love this so much, thank you!
I myself have used alcohol and partying to cope with my loneliness. Because I never really loved myself and was always looking for someone else to fill that void. And when they didn’t I was lost. Without them, there was no me. What a sick way of thinking.
Now that I’m single for the first time in forever and in recovery for hopefully the rest of my life I refuse to settle. I am in no way the partner I want to be or am capable of eventually being… but once I get there I know that I only want the most perfect person for myself that I can continue to grow and we both be the best versions of ourselves. Yeah I get lonely at night, yeah sometimes I want to hook up with people randomly… but they are fleeting thoughts because I know what I really want is a fulfilling committed relationship. And when I fall head over heels in love with myself that person will either find me or I will be completely content on my own fulfilling all of my wildest desires.
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Put 100% into you first. You deserve it. Then you will have so much more to offer and will know much better what type of relationship you really want. 
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