Donuts Daily Diary

Hello! Figured I would start a new thread for this, since I turned my last thread into a daily journal type of thing.

4/10/21

So, its been a week.
I would say a good week…?
I really don’t pick up on anything negative from anybody in my life right now.
I have essentially corrected my sleep-cycle. I also rediscovered naps so thats been useful.

I have a couple of days coming up (after tomorrow) where I don’t have anything going on, and nothing I have to get done other than going over this paperwork some more.
I’m thinking of looking for a park and taking my chromebook up there, as it gets pretty sweet battery life.

I just wish I had a good friend to go with me places like the lake or the beach or out swimming, getting nails done together, stuff like that. I dont mind shopping alone, but certain things (like outdoors activities) I would rather not be alone, other than on a walk or whatever. ITs a bummer.

Oh! I started taking a probiotic about a week ago or two ago, I want to say its making a difference in my anxiety. We’ll see though and I’ll report on it in the future. If you have any experience, feel free to share.

Other then that, I had to run to the store earlier for some oragel for my tooth pain, I was almost in tears.

Basically I chipped my upper furthest back left molar a little while ago on some trail mix, and its been in pain ever since.
I have a routine of brushing, mouth wash, salt water rinse, aspirin, then just some sore-throat spray (was all I had. worked decent enough) I sprayed onto the tooth area. I didnt do that routine today though, and it hurt.

Whats bad about it is that the pain spreads all the way from the back molar, all the way to the front left tooth, and on the lower teeth as well (same side/area). Half of the left side of my face hurt as well as a dull headache in that area, before I put on the oragel. Like, it sounds worrying doesnt it? Anybody ever had it that bad or in that fashion?

Anyways… I never go to the dentist. I dont remember the last time i went. Hopefully I can find somewhere that’s affordable.

What do you guys think? Maybe just some antibiotics will do the trick? It feels like its got to be pulled and I’ve never had a tooth pulled, that I remember…ouch!!! what is it like?! This thing has got to go…

Anyways… I guess thats about it.

Im grateful that this time around being sober, that I’m actually serious about it.
This is the most serious I have ever been, if I’m honest.

In 2017 I was serious because I HAD to be. I would have drank if probation allowed it. I know myself, especially back then. At least when I was granted permission to go out of state for vacation, I would have drank.

In 2019 I was serious for awhile, I was so mad at myself. 2019 is when I was drinking vodka and ended up in the hospital 2 times.
And thats when I realized why vodka is the homeless alcoholic’s stereotypical drink of choice… And I didnt want to end up that way.

But now. Im 32 in a couple of weeks. My 30’s have been a waste of time so far. It just feels like right now is the BEST time to make this huge change. I wont ever have a future with alcohol in my life. I should know that by now.

It doesnt matter if I’m stone-cold sober 99% of the time. It still messes with my moods.
And that was one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned the past 2 years.
I know it sounds small, or possibly insignificant. But a bad attitude will definitely hold you back in life.

Alrighty well thats it. Thanks for reading.
Thanks for having me on this forum it keeps me writing, keeps me busy, and motivates me to stay sober.

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Hey Nicole; I would definitely get that tooth looked at sooner than later; I don’t mess around when it comes to my teeth! Also I think almost any dentist should be willing to let you pay in payments if it’s that bad, no need to be in pain.
I’ve had wisdom teeth pulled many years ago and it’s not as bad as you’d think as far as recovery.

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Hi Donut! Sorry that tooth is still bad. I’m with Donna on this one… you should really get it looked at, it’s been going on for quite a while now. Feel better soon hun :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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4/11/21

Its my weekend now, definitely NOT going to waste it by drinking!

As far as my tooth, it really drives me crazy. I dont know if it just hurt so bad because I ate sweets, today I had a little hamburger and nothing happened. But Im keeping the Oragel on me at all times… Thank u both, I def want to get it looked at.
IT just seems to happen randomly. today, absolutely no pain…

I keep forgetting to look at my pedometer but today I did 8085 steps. Not bad I guess! Not walking or running just doing my regular day.

Alright well this update was pretty boring. I’ll take boring over drama. Happy to have a normal life right now. Thanks for reading

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4/12/21

Not much to report I got my whole to do list done like 7 hours ago so I’ve just been relaxing, now its almost time for bed
so im relaxing in bed
L.o.v.i.n.g the fact I don’t need alcohol to fall asleep. Loving the sleep I get these days. Loving how as each day passes insomnia becomes a thing of the past just a bit more each day. its great.
does it suck to have to wait for things to level back to normal again? of course. but i still have gratitude when i notice the changes that are happening because i chose to quit 24 days ago now (on the 13th when this posts.)
And the best part is the thunderstorm outside helping to put me to sleep.
Goodnight TS… thanks for reading . ZZzzz :sleeping: :sleeping_bed:

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Sweet dream Donut! :pray:t2::two_hearts: sober sleep is the best! :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

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Yes it does keep ya sober writing on here

4/15/21

You know what idea is fun?
Addiction is dumb.
Addiction thinks it is sneaky, making you feel good, creeping up on you without you realizing what is actually taking hold.
Then it sucks you in until you’re hooked. But you stop. Eventually, you stop. And maybe you relapse, and keep relapsing.
But why does this make addiction dumb?
Because for something that started out so “clever”, once you REALize the pattern that always consistently happens (regardless of HOW), you’ve now given yourself the power to stop it.

Does this make sense?
Addiction is clever, but only until we realize whats taken hold and we are then able to thwart it, by quitting.

Addiction is a one-trick pony.
I’m going to keep dissing addiction, for all our sakes.
:relaxed: :raised_hands:

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Sounds fun. Addiction, you’re an idiot.
It’s fun :grin:

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hahaha!! I enjoyed that thank u

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why does it keep showing you edit my posts

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I’m categorizing threads that aren’t categorized yet :slight_smile: helps me regain focus for school and it keeps the forum tidy :slight_smile:

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i gotcha lol.
I read a couple of them two and saw nothing changed…
glad i gave you some activities to do :rofl:

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4-18-21

Alrighty well today went good now I just need tomorrow to go good.

Thank everyone for all the prayers (from my other post.)

As most of you know I smoke weed to keep myself away from alcohol. Well, I never let myself run out, for this very reason as that is prio for me.

My weed guy is going to be out and im not sure how long, and im on my last bits.

My plan, is on Tuesday I’m just going to get started on the things I was going to replace weed with. Tuesday is my day where I have nothing going on so, I have a few things I’d like to check out.
I figure why not right? Im already on a roll.
My old self would say, damn out of weed now I just MUST go buy wine! I have no choice!
So dumb lol I’m getting myself away from that pattern of thinking. Even if I dont believe in the words being true for me yet, “fake it til you make it” as they say.

Alright, well thats it for today. I hope tomorrow can go decently, and that I’m able to get a lot done on Tuesday as well. Good night and thanks for reading!

4/25/21

Alright well I havent updated this thread in a few days.
Tomorrow is my birthday…
I honestly don’t have many fond memories of birthdays to be honest with you. I usually dread when the day comes.
Tomorrow I have obligations so getting emotional over it is out of the question…
So Im just going to push it to the back of my mind. I do really appreciate that thread you guys have going around where you update the birthdays, though.
Its just in real life, a birthday is a reminder I guess how difficult it is for me to keep friends… Its not that im a bad person, I just dont keep in touch, low self esteem, all that jazz. Bleh, birthdays are depressing for meh. I wont drink over it tho.

Who else thinks a lot around their birthday? What kind of things?
Or did you get yourself to turn to think more positive things around then and howd ya do it?

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You deserve a happy birthday Nicole :slight_smile:

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Thank u! So far so good…
I had woke up early the past 2 days and i think today im feeling the workout. So I slept in and just relaxing a little bit havent done much of that lately!!! its nice. :smiley:

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4-28-21

Today marks 39 days since March 20 2021.

Tomorrow, I think I’m going to stop by the book store and probably just look around, anybody have any good book suggestions?
Can be about anything.
I like to read about philosophy, history, politics, music, fiction and nonfiction, fantasy.
Or anything that you read recently that you really liked.
Thanks for reading!

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4/30/21

Im very confident in what i’m doing, but every day I realize there’s more work to be done on who I am.

I have gotten this itch not too long ago, at the idea of quitting weed as well.

I have no CLUE what I would do with all that free time. But for some reason, even though weed isn’t a problem for me, I am intrigued and find my mind floating to the idea of total sobriety on my daily rounds. Which is great, I told u all I’d need time to “wean” myself away from the bud since its what got me away from the icky alcohol. But I’m already thinking ahead and planting the seed. Something I don’t think I used to ever do in regard to any of that…

I know that total sobriety will provide me with a new level of freedom, more money, more time for other things.

Being 32 and alone, its really hard to find other things damn it!!!

Other than that… all I can say is that over the past day, my tooth has only gotten worse. No I haven’t done anything about it yet… Tomorrow Im supposed to get some antibiotics.
I brush my teeth, mouth rinse, hydrogen peroxide rinse, saltwater rinse, orajel toothache rinse, apply ambesol, take aspirin, and do far less snacking…
the really shitty part is that its made it difficult to eat before work… do i eat and risk it, and end up with a sore face the rest of the shift?
Im just a TAD irritated this bullshit happens after I make the best choice for myself.
Its like when I left my ex literally the BEST decision of my entire life and had cascades of bad luck afterwards even when I Was doing everything right.
Lol. So fucking dumb.
Goodnight TS. Thats it for tonight. Not too positive, not too negative.
Yours, the donut.

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So sorry to hear about your tooth! That pain can be unbearable. Did you go to the dentist? Hope you get to feeling better.

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