Double Digits Baby, Need Help!

I’m in double digits on my days of sobriety! It’s about this time that I think “oh hey, I can drink…it wasn’t really that bad…” so I have my list of WHY I don’t drink. Why I can’t drink.

I’m a competitor and hangovers absolutely ruin my training. When I drink I feel fat, slow, and bloated. I cannot focus on my strength and conditioning when I’m drinking and trying to party. I lose so much time and energy trying to drink and be “one of the gang”, and all it gets me is a lot of regret. It ruins my evenings, sleep, and my mornings. Alcohol costs me money I don’t have and doesn’t help me make friends, become healthier, or accomplish literally any of my goals.

My question/advice needed is this: what does sobriety give me? What has sobriety given you? I’m always worried about “how” to socialize when I’m sober. About how to act. I feel more awkward. I know/hope this will pass. So please, share what sobriety does for you and hopefully I can keep seeing this very black and white pro/con list! Thanks in advance.

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For me, being sober has brought back my self esteem and self confidence. It has humbled me (somewhat :grin:). It has made my relationship with my husband more open, honest and loving. Being sober has allowed me to feel my feelings again, it offers me the opportunity to sit with all my emotions and allows me the clarity to know they shall pass. It has brought me better sleep, easier workouts, a clearer presence every day. I am proud of myself, something I hadn’t been for a very long time. I am able to live my life with less chaos and I am working on being less judgemental and learning to stay in my lane (not always easy for me). Being sober has improved some friendships, helps me feel centered on a daily basis and I feel much healthier.

I also keep a list on my phone that you might find of interest. I look at this list of I am thinking, hey, maybe just one drink…It is a good reminder of what drinking REALLY offers…

Here is the list from my phone…

No hangovers ever!!

Treating husband with respect and no drunk fighting

Self respect gets a major boost

No more internal conflict about drinking and if/how can I cut down or stop

Restful restorative uninterrupted sleep!!!

Major pride in myself and all that I have accomplished sober

A sense of peace and calm every day

No more embarrassment and shame because of my behavior

Forgiving myself for past mistakes and terrible judgement

No wondering what I did or how I hurt husband or others while drunk

No treating people I love, including myself, poorly while drunk

No drunk driving and possibly hurting self or others or jail

No upset stomach from drinking

No anxiety and near constant agitation when hungover

No dark suicidal thoughts

No shame around neighbors if I was loud and yelling or loud music

No blackouts ever

No overwhelming shame at my behavior

No oversharing with strangers while drunk or making plans I will need to cancel

Not having to check my phone in the middle of the night to delete social media posts - no drunk texting/emails/posts/calls

Not be bloated and puffy and look haggard

Clear skin and eyes

Major pride in myself and a boost in self esteem

No hangovers ever again

No more excuses or lies

Peace of mind

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Hi Antonia, I really think being sober will give you the strength you’ve been looking for in so many areas of your life. My workouts all around are so much better after I stopped drinking. And you know when you take a couple days off and you come back thinking “oh I’ve lost strength/muscle/progress”…but not with sobriety. Now usually when I take a break I’m able to come back even stronger, my progress doesn’t go backwards as drastically.

Also Sobriety has made me so much more comfortable in my own skin. It took a while to not feel like I need that liquid courage, but it’s just about getting used to it. Give yourself time to actually adjust to social situations without alcohol. Just like with lifting, it’s gradual progression, you’re not going to be deadlifting 2x your weight over night.

Congrats on your days!

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100% yes.

when it comes to socializing i find it actually easier because i’m more engaged in the conversation, not worried about getting my next drink and i can hang out till whenever because i can always safely drive home. i usually have a refreshing soda + lemon water while i watch everyone get sloppy (spoiler: its not cute).

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That awkwardness is all in your head. A guy I used to go out with always said I need beers before I can approach a girl in a club. Then I am too drunk to approach a girl in a club. So I never approach a girl in a club. :slight_smile: You express yourself very well, the alcohol just clouds your brain and slows you down.

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Congrats on double digits. I totally get where you are comin from with the whole i cam have a drink it wasn’t that bad on top of maybe this time i can limit it… Stay away from those thoughts, click that cancel button in your head and turn to the thoughts of why you are sober and how much it’s giving you. For me Sobriety gives me time back with my kids rather then just wanting to sit and drink, gives me $330 a month in my account, makes me feel healthy rather then sluggish, slow bloated and utterly weak, gives me more time in the day to do appts that need to be done rather then puttin them off so i can drink instead, TMI but being sober gives back full O’s rather then numbish ones lol. My skin is clearer, my bloated water weight is comin off. I am excited to get my body back and keep feelin good. You got this!! Don’t give up. HMU if you ever wanna talk ok. Hugs

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@SassyRocks allready has mentioned a lot I recognize. I add just two:

I love my sober mornings! All that extra time just for me all alone downstairs enjoying my rest and coffee (and read/write on TS).

My calmer head. When I drank my head was making overtime telling me when to drink, how much to drink, were to hide my bottles, that I earned just one now, etc. No more! My head belongs to me! Not to my addiction!

Congratulations with your double digits!! :tada:
Don’t let that creepy voice in your head win! He’s lying!!

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