I went to a bar yesterday and was thinking like I always do, will I ever be able to drink? Today my weekend starts. I know that I would get a bottle of wine now if I would have drank yesterday. Why wouldnt I? All or nothing… So maybe its too early for me, maybe thats just the way my system works. Im afraid its just like sigarets or heroin. You just don’t smoke/schoot up again because you’ll likely get hooked again sooner of later. Tbh I feel anxious even thinking about drinking in moderation. It seems hard work to me.
3 Likes
For me, I know where that road goes. Like many others before me, I thought I could be a social, moderate drinker. Sometimes that lasts for days, weeks, or even months, but the old habit of over doing it always comes back. I decided when i quit, that it doesn’t have to be forever, but I won’t drink again until I am where I want to be in life. I won’t drink again until I accomplish all of the goals I have made for myself; and I know that I will not be able to get there with alcohol in my life, because I’ve waisted 20 of the best years of my life trying to convince myself otherwise. Will I drink again? Probably not.
6 Likes
Alcohol and me will never be friends again. I tried often to drink moderate…bad idea…every fucking time it sneaked back into my life like cancer and got worse and worse. And I don’t need and want another rockbottom.
5 Likes
I feel like for me, it will have to be way way in the future… and a social setting, and someone to tell me “no” on the way home. Because I’ve spun it so many different ways in my head to justify drinking. “Stressful day at work” or “boredom drinking” or “hanging with friends” and even one drink would lead to more to lead to too many. So for now, it’s nothing. I know it’s crazy, but I even have a beer in my fridge to remind myself to NOT. It’s really tempting to grab it and drink it, but as my counter goes up for how many days I’ve not touched it - I feel accomplished with myself. I remind myself of the reasons I chose to stop drinking and the reasons that the decision to do it wouldn’t be a good one. For me, having that reminded in my house is me saying look, it’s here…but fight hard to be who you wanna be, not who you were. And my future self hasn’t been decided on.
3 Likes
Seems that about 98% post i read of people having that drink months to years later after sober end up back in old habits. unless you return back immediately working sobriety like its day one… i know we all would like to be able to just dabble with our DOC every so often and handle it. But who are we foolin? it was like that first time u were a virgin lookin to get lucky. After you did it once you had to do it again n again til your in love( back in old habits)…
4 Likes
Well said. If I could drink safely I would be out there right now. Thing is I drink like booze is going to be outlawed at midnight. I was just talking to another drunk today about what it used to be like and I realized that it wasn’t nearly as fun as I thought it was. And it was downright terrible for everyone around me.
I don’t want to die young and if I go back out that’s all I’m getting.
5 Likes
Thanks for your words and stories, you are right, why return? the truth is this change has been for the best.
last night I went to a party with friends… all drinking beer and pisco (something superstronggg), I drank only tea, for a second I thought about drinking “ONE” beer, and in that moment as a fate a friend told me he had videos of the last time I drank, the situation gave me stomach pain and shame… to think about those videos, I did not even want to see it and all my desire for a sip disappeared.
I prefer to exist in the moment, remember what I do and have fun, instead to be the drunk girl from the funny video
8 Likes