Last week I had my first alcohol free corporate event. I was so damn proud.
Yesterday I had a lunch meeting - no alcohol.
Tonight I have a team dinner - these usually include celebrating and getting smashed. Everyone still talks about how great of a time our last get together was.
I feel a slight twinge of worry but the majority of me feels confident and firm in the fact that I do not need alcohol just because it’s always been that way at these things, tides are a changing now!
I started listening to a naked mind podcast and heard a piece yesterday that talked about how our brain can tell us to do something even though we don’t want to - isn’t that the truth!!! It also takes about getting to the point where alcohol is insignificant if your life - wow! Major key! That is what I’m working on. I don’t want it, I don’t need it, and it’s insignificant!
I always left as soon as I could from those work functions. Also, I would have a sober co-worker that I would sit with if possible. Take the first bus out of there then grab ice cream at the hotel. Winning!
I’m definitely setting a curfew! One of my colleagues in from another region does not drink. Not sure the reasons but I’m definitely sitting by him tonight!!!
Thank you for this! I was wondering what I could put in a wine glass that looks like wine? Some of these events are just wine and beer and I’m usually the first one with the wine glass in my hand. But the tides are changing!!
In my position and line of business, my whole world revolves around drinking. The first 60 million times I tried to get sober, I really felt left out. This time I don’t. I actually enjoy it even more. I never thought that would happen. It’s common to have drinks at lunch, meet for drinks in the afternoon/evening, events, the office, all of it. For goodness sake I’m getting my boys a Whisky Bar for the office haha. They keep beer and that white claw shit in the fridge.
You’ll definitely get so used to the t that it won’t even cross your mind. I used to come up with all sorts of excuses as to why I wasn’t drinking. However, now, no one says a word. I say I don’t drink, they say cool, and we move on.
I always think about how appalled people get sometimes. Like, “Why don’t you drink???” I don’t know, why do YOU drink? Haha. It’s poison and ruins lives and families. I love remembering what I talked about with people. I used to be blacked out and they would come up to me at another event and I would be like “and you are???”
It’s funny too. Next time, observe everyone (my fave sober sport). I noticed that I always thought they were keeping up with me and vice versa. Nope, then normies were only having a few. Wild!
Anyway, sending you strength. When you get over the hump and don’t even notice it anymore, it’s a great feeling.
I stopped drinking last November and totally embraced all the right things for recovery - Lifering meetings. therapy, new hobbies and lifestyle choices, etc. I felt totally solid with sobriety and admittedly got a bit lazy about doing meetings. I was 8 months uninterrupted sober and stupidly convinced myself I had “beat this thing.” Then I had to travel for work and there were several social events. I made the dumb mistake of trying to have “just one drink.”
Down the rabbit hole I went and, after struggling to taper back off, wound up back where I was last year in terms of daily drinking. Detoxed again and am 28 days sober again. I feel great once more but find it very scary that I made that mistake and didn’t call anyone. I guess I didn’t know anyone in recovery I knew well enough to reach out to.
Anyone else have this experience that has any any suggestions?
You are doing so awesome, I know you’ll rock this dinner.
If you have the personality for it, just roll with the crowd. If they start getting rediculous, get a little rediculous. It’s not like they’ll remember or care. If someone has a problem, make a light joke (if appropreate) like, “I have the important job of documenting tonight for postarity, or maybe just for laughs later,” then change the subject in a connected way like, “Speaking of laughing, have you seen such and such movie?” or whatever. The more easy going and witty you can deliver it, the better it will be received and let go.
Order the best virgin drinks you can get ahold of wherever you go, and really you can excuse yourself at any time that you don’t feel comfortable. There comes a point where when you’re sober, being around drunk people being stupid isn’t actually fun.
Thank you for sharing your story, definitely something to be aware of as I start traveling again in the future. Those work travel trips always consisted of pounding my liver given I’m away from all my normal responsibilities at home. I have no idea how we time after time would get up the next morning and facilitate anything professional! I look forward to operating with a clear healthy mind set and confidence that is true instead of fueled by alcohol.
I am working on finding my recovery tribe that I can lean on so I can truly “phone a friend” when needed. Thank you got highlighting that important factor!
Thanks Lulu. When I was doing well with my recovery last time I thrived at work. But I didn’t expect the consequences - executive leadership noticed me and put some serious new responsibilities on me that brought a ton of stress. That definitely contributed to my relapse. When I cleaned up I called my superiors and asked to back out of some high profile leadership responsibilities. They were grudgingly responsive to my request. So watch out for that scenario as you do better at work!
I too am looking for a support circle which is why I joined this app.
There’s a growing awareness in the corporate development / corporate team management field that drinks for networking is costing companies more than benefiting them.
What happens if companies disentangle networking from drinking? Turns out there’s a lot of other options:
Large corporations are finally starting to realize they need to make addiction in the workplace seriously. In process of getting a recovery coaching certification that many big HR teams are looking to utilize with their employees. A good thing for sure. Also, I think the stigma is getting to be less. A lot of people now know how bad alcohol really is.
Oh, absolutely. This is a moment of maturity. I think there’s a growing consciousness that what is needed is good spaces to connect, where people feel comfortable connecting (which is always a bit of a vulnerable process).
It makes sense that as humans get more comfortable with themselves as people, as they cultivate balanced understandings of themselves and the people around them, they’d open up more balanced, diverse spaces for connecting. I think we’re getting more curious in healthy ways, and that’s good.
How funny is that not everyone gets drunk! I was always black out drunk and couldnt piece together the night. Once sober i noticed some folks drinking AF or nursing one glass of wine the while night (something i have never heard of lol)
It’s very good and long overdue. I’m so grateful for the many that struggled with addiction who spoke about it publicly and had the courage to start changing the narrative.
I got this too!!!
When drinking I thought everyone was drunk and in it together, once I got sober, I realised actually quite a few folks only had one, two at most then switched to having a cup of tea.
