Hi. I’m new to all this, denial is a hell of an addictive drug. I’m 14 days clean from the worse thing I have ever touched. I have started the 12 step program and taken time off of work to heal and learn. I keep letting the person connected to all of this into my life and I don’t know why. I know he is the root, has the means of procurement, and isn’t kind to me, but I can’t seem to quit him. It’s like I need to quit HIM AND THE DRUG at the same time and I am struggling hard. I have looked up trauma bonding and love bombing (both are true) and I still can’t quit. THIS IS BRUTAL. 14 days clean of crack, still mixed up with the user/abuser. Any advice/same experiences?
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Hi, idk if this helps or not. Buy my drug of choice is alcohol. And when I first got really bad 8 years ago I realized it was because the people I surrounded myself with. I decided to make a huge change in life and move away. Going some where new and getting a new perspective on everything is a big help. Also coming on here is a good step. Quiting someone is almost harder than our addictions. If you ever want to talk please private message me im back sober again and it helps to talk with others.
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I dont have this experience, but I do want to say that you deserve a sober and happy life. The steps that it takes to get there are often hard, but the results are worth it.
Wish you well.
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Is it love OR is it fear? Are you scared of what your life could be? Are you scared of the ‘new you’? The person you could be without him and the drugs he brings. I guess you’ve got to decide, what do you really want? What is MOST important to you? How do you see your future? What choices are you going to make to ensure that you are loved (firstly and most importantly, by yourself) and healthy and happy? What are you going to decide and how determined are you in getting, doing and being better. Sober life is such an amazing gift we give to ourselves, and it can bring a lot of joy. But it comes down to your mindset, your determination, you willingness to change and grow and to tell yourself no, and to leave the people who don’t support you in all this behind; otherwise you’re letting yourself be held back. You’d be choosing fear rather than self-love and self-respect. Things you truly deserve. You are worthy and you matter and you are loved. You don’t need anyone else or anything to make that true. It just is.
Wish you all the best on this journey. Sober life = our best life, for sure.
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Welcome @Messymom1979
You sound like a lot of the women that shared in my SLAA meetings back in the day.
If there is one near you, please check it out.
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I think the answer is already there within you.
Quitting the drug is the only way to progress your life in a better direction, otherwise it only goes one way.
Quitting involves getting rid of the enabler also and that’s exactly what he is. Be strong and one day you’ll look back and wonder why you wasted time/health on him. Move towards your better future and away from the rubbish.
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Thanks all for the replies! I’m focused on recovery, and not going backwards. Today I decided to not answer the phone when he called. One step, then the other
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Sounds to me you need some radical changes. A new phone number might be an idea as a start.
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