DUI, CPS, 37 days sober. Worst bottom ever! But God is in control


#1

So today is day 37. I have been sober before but this time I mean business. God gave me a huge eye opener. My fiance fell asleep trashed with my baby girl in the car (she is one of us) . The nightmare started when CPS took my baby into custody. I was devastated but still drinking. I thought I was fine still drinking and CPS was going to release my baby girl to me. I was working and drinking on the side. Trying to negotiate the terms of my “surrender” to recovery.
Well about 3 days before I was going to get my little girl I was arrested for a dui. Woke up in jail and completely devastated. CPS found out and now I have to do a case plan to get my little girl back.
Alcohol is the great pursuader. I was so ashamed and lost all respect for myself. I lost my career job. I am done.
This is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life. I have been through hard things but it always has just been me that had to worry about the circumstances and consequences. I have never been away from my daughter before. The good thing is she is not even walking yet so she is so young she may not remember this. I think sometimes God can let us fall down and break so that he can rebuild us back up stronger than ever. I am 37 Days clean today off alcohol and my prescription Xanax. I am highly motivated and hitting sometimes two meetings a day. I have to look at it in a positive way I will become a better parent & probably never would have stopped drinking if I didn’t have some kind of consequence. This adversity has got me involved with the program again and more serious than ever have been in my life. Surrender to win! I have a new job here in about a week and the blessing of all this is that my good friend is watching our daughter. I will definitely have to jump through some hoops for CPS. I feel better and healthier than I have in years I was drinking so much that I was bloated in the face and body and did not even notice till I sobered up. I used to be a personal trainer and drinking alcohol made me gain about 55 lbs and get in the worst Shape of My life. I am determined to beat this disease! Is anyone else going through anything similar?


#2

I been through similar experiences, glad to hear u are going too meetings. Hang in there life gets better with time, just stay sober and go to meetings. I don’t know why God does things but I do have faith is always for the good of us.


#3

Thank you. It’s crazy because it was the worst timing. But at the same time maybe the best time because it’s making me see that I have a problem. I have to go to some classes and then will get my daughter back. It’s the most helpless frightening feeling though.


#4

I too got sober while awaiting trial and under the care of Department of Corrections. I find that I funneled my anxiety into concentration on the next sober event (meeting, phone call, whatever) and that helped. I got a sponsor early on and did what he said to do. I developed friendships with men. And in my own stumbling way, I prayed often.

Sounds like you have a plan, @Bobbyg1018. Blessings on your house :pray:


#5

I have had a similar experience myself. I am now 21 days sober and also hitting the meetings which I believe help massively. My children are coming back to me in a week after being taken by the social services to my ex partners mums house six weeks ago. Hang in there! As you continue to get better, everything around you will too! Good luck!


#6

I am a mama of two very small children. The most motivating thing my sponsor said to me is, “If you play your cards right, your children will never remember you as a drunk.”

What a gift. I hold on to that every day. It can be true for you too.:heart:


#7

I just had my CPS case dismissed last week. My kids were apprehended on January 8th by them.

I went to a lot of meetings, I completed IOP, I went to a lot of therapy. We are continuing family therapy. Above all, I stayed sober.

It can be really fucking hard seeing your kids for 2 hours a week, then 4 hours a week, then finally getting weekend visits. But it can be done, and it can be done sober.

Wife and I are now 264 days sober, just celebrated our anniversary, and have our kids happy and healthy back home. Life has never looked better. Extremely grateful to have had it all happened, it’s what it took and sometimes it just takes what its gonna take.


#8

I wish you the best!
I got a DUI years ago. Didnt stop drinking, thought it was just bad luck.
I don’t have a real reason why I just suddenly quit this time. Maybe I was just tired of being drunk…
That being said, if I can do it without a major circumstance then I’m sure you can with everything on the line.
I wish you the best.


#9

A version of this happened to me and it was not what it took to get me sober. It did create a lot of resentments that I chose to drink over for years. Much like @Shinhiryuu, I just decided to stop one day. My life had been a shit show for years and it wasn’t enough.

Take care of yourself. If you don’t stay sober now then it will likely be a long time before you consider it again. Don’t be me. I didn’t get one of my kids back and have not spoken to my parents for almost 4 years and barely get to email with my son who will be 18 in March. It blows.


#10

My kids were old enough to remember. The only thing I could have done was to try to make a living amends.

I was told last weekend that I seemed softer and kinder. So I guess that’s a start.


#11

Check out Alcohol Mastery on YouTube…The videos are so so helpful, covering every topic on how to do this. And the guy does it in such a motivating and inspiring way, that you will only focus onwards and upwards. It’s all free, and very beneficial! Good luck with everything! It’s going to be great, you just have to work at it! If I can do it, so can you! Be proud and forge a head


#12

My father stopped drinking and smoking before he had open heart surgery. He coded while in surgery and was revived barely and on a ventilator for days. He was in care for a month. Kept him sober. When he came home and went to physical therapy and stayed sober. He was so much more peaceful and we could talk. After he was finally cleared he went back to drinking and has progressed back to a drunk every night. I can hardly stand being around him now. I miss who he was then… Im sure your children appreciate you so much more now!


#13

Thank you guys for your responses. I saw my daughter today at visitation. It was great but hard to say goodbye. I’m almost 40 days clean now and pushing forward! Whatever it takes. God …12 steps and for me A.A. Hope everyone has a great night


#14

I hope my son (he’s 3) never Remembers me high on pills. That’s a POWERFUL reason to get life together, for real.


#15

That’s a huge start.:heart:


#16

Hey man, I don’t have kids or DUI’s, but I had to get clean off Xanax at the same time as the alcohol. For me it was either get clean of pretty much just take all my benzos and drink myself to death.

Staying dry is a struggle everyday, but the thing that helps assure my sobriety is not taking the benzos. If I can take Xanax in the morning and Klonopin at night I will be able to drink. So not being able to take them, or even immediately find them, is a HUGE help for me. Keeps those alcohol cravings from overwhelming me.

I find your resolve and determination inspiring. Keep at it buddy! Use us for all we are worth!


#17

Yeah the worst part of this is that I am prescribed xanax. I have 120 sitting at the pharmacy right now. It’s hard but not worth it.


#18

It’s a long long withdrawal period and comes in waves


#19

You can overcome this set back


#20

People who haven’t tried getting off benzos have like zero clue. Call the pharmacy and tell them to cancel the script. It’s not worth it man! It’s a road straight back to trouble.

If you have any questions feel free to ask. I’ve been clean for 481 days and i know a lot about the process. Both from going through it myself and having an amazing recovery team (therapist and psychiatrist, with 4 months of IOP under my belt).