Early recovery depression

Hi, everyone! This is my first post. I have four months of sobriety from alcohol, and my mood is up and down like a rollercoaster. I’ve been living with the symptoms of bipolar disorder for 25 years, so I’m used to depression and mood swings. But hot damn, this is intense! I never really drank until four years ago. I started binge-drinking in social situations, and it helped numb the emotional pain that I was experiencing at the time. Now I actually have to feel my emotions. It sucks! While I haven’t felt a strong desire to drink, my thoughts can get very dark. I would love to hear some advice from fellow recovering addicts.

Jamie :penguin:

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Welcome, @JamieLyn!

Diagnosis or no, this sort of thing is totally normal and you’re not alone. @Sober_Ninja put it really well on another thread yesterday:

For me I’ve had this group’s support, AA and therapy. Probably what I’ve found in AA has helped the most for rewiring my busted brain.

The doctor’s also a great option if there’s a diagnosis (mine is anxiety). In that case wise to be open and honest about our relationship with alcohol for best results.

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Hay and welcome to this lovely app . I’m also bi polar and have the horrible ups and downs. The worst bit for me is isolating and anxiety. R u medicated? After a few weeks into recovery my doctor changed my medication and it really helped with my depression. X

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I started my alcoholic journey very young, and didn’t learn I was bipolar1 until after I had quit drinking at 33. About 60 days in I realized my feelings were not just after effects of quitting. In Iowa our mental healthcare was so bad it took 10 months of sobriety before I was seen, diagnosed, and medicated. 2 years working on medication later, I am finally getting medications right.
It is not easy, especially with a mental illness. Keep strong, and remember it’s all temporary, and you can find help.
You. Can. Do. This. I promise.

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My doctors and therapists continue to drill into me that I need routine.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is helpful, as well.
Good diet, LOTS of excersize.
Journal, meditate, yoga. Find activities that may help you calm your brain. I started crafting recently. Learning how to sew. Ive also been doing ‘diamond dots’ pictures as an easy way to just ignore everything around me.

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Thank you all for the warm welcome! I take Depakote, Celexa, Seroquel, Klonopin, and Propranolol to treat my bipolar disorder. I also suffer from PTSD after a sexual assault last year. It just feels so overwhelming. I see a psychiatrist and a trauma therapist, and I attend group therapy once a week. I need to focus on establishing and sticking to a routine. Attending regular meetings helps, but it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. I’ve always had a hard time with eating healthy and exercising. In fact, food was my very first addiction. Part of why I enjoyed drinking so much is because I had weight-loss surgery, and I metabolized alcohol so quickly that I could get wasted and sober up in record time.

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Start with one thing that you can change easily, like making sure you get up at the same time each day, and work your way up.
I hope the longer you are sober, the easier it will be to finagle your meds to a more reasonable amount. Most of the bipolar people I know who have been sober for awhile are in a much better place, and have even been able to drop a med here or there. But, it will still take a little longer before things really start to get adjusted.
Stay positive!

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Hi @JamieLyn,

You’ve been through a lot.

So sorry to hear of the trauma that you experienced last year. That’s probably playing a huge role with you thoughts of depression.

Advice? Don’t do this alone. Get help, support from where you need it. Meetings, counseling, TS, etc.

Welcome to TS. Glad to have you join us. And congratulations on achieving 4 months.

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