as you know I have an ED. today I am trying a new diet I hope I don’t go down to the spiral again. I don’t want to purge after every damn meal. just eat clean and maybe drop a few kg. I don’t know i saw myself in the mirror and I think I gained weight.
Thinking and knowing are two different things… Also gaining wieght doesnt necessarily mean you gained fat. If you exercise you can tone up turning fat to muscle. Muscle wieghs more then fat. Maybe not concentrating on self images of your own mind and start looking at the facts tracking progress with a scale or/and fit bit? Many have apps you can link your meals and track basically everything… Have you searched for help outside this forum? Maybe have someone close to keep you accountable.
I know gaining weight is tough but I have started to eat a little healthier and exercise more by changing my mindset. A restrictive diet could be a recipe for disaster just like you said. It’s better to make changes based on health benefits… When I’m running or walking on the treadmill I literally remind myself that I’m making my heart stronger to live longer; more oxygen is being delivered to my body to make my circulation better and stave off dementia and improve my memory. When I’m planning meals I think about what my body needs, and that does include some fats and carbs which is awesome! But mostly veggies, which I love too. I quiz my kids on what foods are good for different reasons… And when on some nights I bring out dessert I ask what is this good for? And they all yell “taste buds”! I know I’m just a nerdy nurse, but I had an eating disorder for many years and always thought I looked fat. I would restrict myself from certain foods, and then when I started to eat just a little bit of a “bad food” I would have the eff it attitude and eat all of it… Then we knew what behavior would come next… And then the guilt. So anyway… Be careful and love your body:)
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No diets. I know this sounds harsh… I am recovered and had bulimia for years. Throwing up 4/5 timea a day.
You cannot diet. Maybe even EVER. You need to let yourself eat, come to terms with feelings around food, and focus on UN RESTRICTING.
Trigger warning… I am mentioning some weight below…
When I recovered I put on about 2 stone in the first year. I HAD TO. My body was sucking up food because of years of starving. But I had to trust the process. Now, a year after that, I have naturally dropped that weight.
Your body knows what it’s doing and you cannot diet. You cannot recover and diet x
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It’s like moderating when youre an alcoholic. It doesnt work. You have to give diets up completely.
Always here if you wanna chat x
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I agree about the comparison to moderating as an alcoholic. I’m probably 10 years from the time I was active in anorexia, but if I go on a diet now it’s game on. The only diet that was prescribed for me when I was getting help was “eat at least x number of calories”.
Have you looked into mindful eating at all?
Regarding weight, heres a hard truth. I did gain weight. I also gained love for myself. I gained physical strength. I gained stability.
I still struggle with body dysmorphia on a daily basis and sometimes I wonder if that’s just…the size I am now, but I try to get away from the mirror and do something for someone else.
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