Hi Bec, my name is Kathryn & I’m not sure if this will help you or hinder you but I’ve read your post & all the pertaining comments, so I’d like to offer my perspective/own situation as an alternative view. (It’s a bit complex so I hope I come off clear enough).
So for starters, not only does addiction run in my family for generations, watching my siblings suffer, you’d think I’d RUN from addicts but as it turns out, I fell in love with an addict & as a matter of fact, primarily dated addicts before I got married. So I’m in a unique position of KNOOOOOWING addiction, ownership, self guilt, all of it…when my husband sobered up, he had a year sober before I finally made my desicion to get clean. So HE understands & is an addict in the truest definition & comes from the exact same background, watching BOTH parents, his only sister use drugs, all his aunts who helped raise him also dabbling in drugs/even prostitution. I mention all this back history because when I was still using while he wasn’t, I would ask him to go get me a bottle if I wasn’t physically able or up to it & he never turned me down!
Being sober now & even at the time, I never blamed him or felt guilty for putting him in that position. I FULLY grasp what being an addict means & that I own my actions but way more importantly, I had to come to my desicion on my own because it’s my choice. Much like the years I chased my husband & begged for love, for us, for his health that he get clean but it wasn’t until I let go, truly, of him, our relationship & let him find his own path, in HIS time, that he eventually did when he was ready.
So I THINK, why he never turned me down, was because he knew the same thing. That it was MY choice & journey BUT being my husband & loving me, if I asked him to do me favor, self harming or not (I know that’s awful) he still did it for me. I guess my point is, it’s only once you truly own your addiction, the role you play in it being YOURS to come to grips with, that you can truly start to heal.
Then, after that, YOUR husband will either respect your choice & be supportive, whether it be learning to be a productive part of your recovery…OR…the cold hard facts, that we never really want to face, whether or not you can stay in the marriage or a situation with someone that drinks & may not be healthy to be around or uses your drinking as an excuse for his own. I know these choices are NEVER easy & he’s DEFINITELY being accessive by asking to buy an ADDITIONAL bottle when finishing one but I agree if he’s only a recreational drinker, that he doesn’t FULLY feeeel the struggle you suffer.
That being said, I have an idea…I think you should just enact a “rule” with him, no matter what, no matter what your brain is telling you, no matter HOW BAD you want a drink, just say “NO!” to your husband if he asks! (I know this sounds ridiculous but let me explain my theory). If you completely take your husband out of the equation/decision to drink nightly, no matter where & when, if it’s HIM asking, it can be easier to help your relationship by irradicating his involvement in your addiction or any continued feelings of enabling…geez, I know I’ve run on for quite some time now hahaha but I genuinely hope you pulled SOMETHING of use out of this rant!
I honestly wish you SO much success Bec, I am sending you good luck vibes!! STAY STRONG saying no to a drink, flex that will-power muscle girl & resist! I have faith in you! - Kathryn 
and other were rude to you…