Hi FRESHLY recovering addict, question. Is it possible or impossible to stay clean when in every single enviroment area you go around (family and friends) uses? Especially when it’s your DOC? Or is it all kind over matter??
???
2 Likes
Environment is a corner stone to your recovery early on. Your generally, an average of the 5 closest family or friends you surround yourself with. Although, mind over matter can work, but the level of self discipline needed probably can be compared to Olympic athletes.
Try to sterilize your environment, so your not dealing with both the physical and mental portions of addiction.
2 Likes
Absolutely. The first month I avoided those situations, since then I dont avoid anything. I have no problem with alcohol in the house, no problem being with someone who is drinking, no problem meeting people in a bar etc. My plan was to actively put myself in these situations after the month, the first few times were TOUGH, but genuinely is not a problem now and I am only approaching 4 months.
I believe the more we avoid things the more we are building it up as a problem, so if we always avoid alcohol, but then theres an unavoidable situation with alcohol around, it’s going to make that situation far harder than it needs to be.
2 Likes
It’s possible. My doc is alcohol and that is all around me/us. It’s in my house (my partner drinks sometimes), it’s with allmost every social event I go to, it’s on tv, the internet…etc.
But I set some boundaries:
In my first sober months I avoided alcohol related events and stayed home. I wanted all alcohol in my house out of my sight. Open bottles were given to the guests who drank them when they left my house. Ore poured down trough the sink. I avoided the wine section in the supermarked like it was a disease. I asked my partner not to offer me drinks and told him about my sober plan for life.
I think environment is just a trigger. It’s hard I know but we ourselves are the enemy. We ourselves are the person who we have to say NO to.
4 Likes
It’s possible if you are willing to put in the work. The first 4 months out of rehab I lived with a person who drank and shot heroin everyday. Both were my DOC. I don’t recommend my path, but it was either there or a homeless shelter (even more drugs). I went to 2-3 meetings every day. I was in IOP 4 days a week and was on medication to curb any cravings. So yes, it is possible, but it’s much much easier to just avoid that type of stuff.
2 Likes
To put it simply, you have to change your play places, play mates (including family who are users), and play things if you want to stay sober. It’s tough at first, but totally worth it. You will learn and adapt to a new normal. Just be patient and firm in your conviction to do so.
I’d say that you would have to be so so disciplined to be around it and not be tempted. I know I would’ve been, even with the mindset I had.
I stayed well away from anyone, anything and anywhere.
It was hard enough working on my own and passing shops everyday, without it being at home.
2 Likes
I think it would be really hard in the short and long term, if it’s a regular thing to be in that environment. At least it would be for me.
There are many many ways to get sober and It absolutely is possible to be sober around others who use your doc if that’s what you really want, you are doing this for you and what others do doesn’t need to change that focus. Alcohol is my doc and both my partner and mum have drunk at my house regularly since I quit and there is pretty much always alcohol in the house. I still go out with drinking friends and don’t avoid parties, pubs etc. I am ten months sober from a ten year daily drinking to blackout habit and whilst I know mine is not a common view I wanted to change for me and I didn’t want that to affect anyone else in their choices. I wouldn’t say it’s mind over matter though, you will need to decide what your boundaries are and what you feel you can accept and still remain sober. I find new bottles of alcohol don’t bother me, they can sit on the side untouched but open bottles I have a problem with. The people around me knew in the early days that open bottles needed to be put out of sight (and not in my fridge!) and offering me to join them in drinking was a big no.
I knew I couldn’t avoid alcohol, it’s too prolific so it was me who had to change and there will always be surprises like the day my neighbour brought ‘thank you for rescuing the cat wine’ to my door, you will need to be prepared and have a plan for these times too. Look at what causes you to use and find the tools that will help you to change your mindset and your habits so you can become comfortable with not wanting to use and see your doc for what it is, an escape from reality that you don’t need.
Only you can decide if being around your doc is detrimental to you as we are all different but yes it is possible to maintain a normal life around it if you’re that way inclined and you put in the work to understand why abstinence is the way to go.
Of course I wouldn’t meet up with a group of friends whose sole purpose for meeting was to get totally wasted, there would be no point as thats not my lane anymore and there is absolutely no added value in putting myself in such a situation but I don’t avoid other enjoyable social situations because alcohol will be present.
3 Likes
Well my DOC is alcohol and it is EVERYWHERE…I mean it’s beyond socially acceptable to drink it is socially expected.
The thing is you need to do more than just “not use”. White knuckling can only get you so far. You really need to work on getting to a place where you don’t want to use. Take some to work out WHY you want to use and see if you can change that.
YOU CAN DO IT.
I think it also depends on what your DOC is.
That’s gotta be hard keep ya headup try to attend as many meetings as you can meet other addicts who will give you good suggestions for bless you being a addict is the hardest thing in the world to be
It becomes easy as the time goes by.
I initially baracaded myself in my home for the first 3 weeks and never kept alcohol in my home. I never went out to eat, bc that was my thing… go out to eat the day after, bc I was so hungover and have another drink. I avoided the gas station like the plague… also my thing… cheap ass wine- just across the street from my neighborhood. Great for late night runs. Wouldn’t recommend being around drinkers if you can help it for a couple of months. Anything is possible though- so many people have quit in so many situations. I hope you figure out sooner than later what works best for you and your situation to get you sober 