We’re bombarded with alcohol commercials, from Matt McConaughey (I had to look up that spelling…) carrying a bottle of Wild Turkey down to the beach to listen to music with his quaintily diverse jazz brother, to the wise, most interesting man touting tequila, to the athletes throwing back can after can of Miller Ultra, because it’s just so goooood for you!
Anyway, it’s funny how they only show sober people. Every one of them is in full control of their faculties, no stumbling, no mumbling, damn sure no vomiting, no pink-eyes and no sweaty brows.
Nope. We see healthily sober people running and showing off their abs between guzzles of Ultra. We see a sober McCon strutting down the street, not a stumble or a grumble or a mumble in sight. We see sober football players slam into each other in mimic of the helmeted beer cans. We see a gaggle of Corona-wielding women dancing sober, subtly and gracefully, not grinding like a coked-out stripper while fighting their heels for balance.
We see only sober people in the alcohol commercials.