Every day, rinse and repeat

Every day I reset this app because every day I’ve chosen to drink. I’m not even hung over or dealing with a night of having burned my life to the ground, but every friggen day I’m taking those 2 or 4 beers and I’m so frustrated with myself. Every day I feel the anxiety and every day I reflect on more money spent.
I hate this. I hate the guilt and I hate the cycle. I want so badly for it to stop.
And so I am taking ownership, responsibility, and another day to put this confounding ridiculous habit to rest.

Frankly it scares the shit out of me, which makes little sense because I know how wonderful life can be as a sober human.

I am Nathan, and I am an alcoholic.

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Welcome! I’m new here. Its helping me alot. I relate. I’ve had a good sober life before, yet I got tangled in alcohols web again. And I just can’t seem to quit on my own. Best wishes on your sobriety. There’s alot of tools to learn about here.

Maybe try a meeting they help wish you well

Well, one difference I can make is to recognize the trigger and let it go.
I’d say “shut that shit down” but that would be resisting something that will only grow if I don’t at least take note and let it pass.

What I will do differently is to not give in and not give up. And yes, a meeting would be helpful.

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I said that for years…my will was not strong enough. This time around I changed a lot, and for me it worked. Anything alcohol related was gone…people places and things. Every second I wasnt working was preplanned, with more than I could physically do. Chores don’t make you sober, but boredome sure has heck does. I read everything I could get my hands on about addiction. On my days off I cooked, from scratch, 3 meals. Eventually, i started a program…for me that was AA.

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Exactly this! Drinking numbed the shame a guilt for a few hours. A little sober compassion goes a bloody long way!

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Hi Nathan. My name’s Geoff and I’m an alcoholic!
Welcome. Thanks for sharing.
Slow down and relax mate. Try to clear your mind off all things apart from the desire to not drink!
One day at a time.

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Thank you!
Here’s to day 1.

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Welcome!! You came to the right place if you’re looking for other Alcoholics!! Haha

Taking ownership and knowing you need help is a great step in itself!
I didnt join here until day 23. And i’m now at 45. And everyone on here, and listening to others triumphs and stories have helped me a lot with my own pursuit of sobriety. We can only control our future and not our past. Feel free to air and vent and ask questions, everyone is here in the same boat and have been where you are at one point or another!
1 day at a time!

The day is not over but I can say that on the way home from work I did NOT stop at the cold beer and wine store as I usually do every day. It didn’t take strength so much as a simple commitment to self.
Sometimes small victories lead to great rewards.
I will see this day 1 of sobriety through. :muscle:

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