Hey Joy, I’m so glad you’re here. Your story is so familiar…to most of us, probably. I’d make and break those promises to myself all the time, and hate myself for it.
But you’re not alone. @Mno is right, there is so much wisdom and care here. Read around. Check out What’s YOUR plan?. Then choose to be sober for 5 minutes. Then 5 more. You can do this. 