Everything is fine in moderation

Remember this age old expression??? Why can’t we just have a drink and be done?? I want to be fine with moderation! All of my friends laugh at me when I say I stopped drinking. They say, “why? you’re not an alcoholic!” Well I don’t know what to say back. Should I say, “yes I am and you are too” or “yeah I know I’m not, but I’m just trying it out” just so they don’t make fun of me. I actually lied people and said my doctor told me I have to stop drinking. Why is it so abnormal to not drink??? This is not ok.


Oh man, I kind of can’t stand that saying (in regards to alcohol). There are people that can manage to have a drink and be fine. Then there are those of us (all of us that came to find ourselves on this forum!) that cannot drink the same. Whether it be for intent (drinking to get fucked up - pardon my French), or the simple inability to stop. Testing that boundary just seems to fail every time. I feel you on the lying part - but what frustrates me is the why…WHY is it so stigmatized to want to take care of ourselves??? And maybe more importantly, why do we care so much about what other people think? :frowning: This is a new, tricky place we have to navigate. There’s a lot of letting go we need to do. Its hard if you drank in order to connect to others (moi). We just have to remember that WE are the ones that are responsible for our well being, and the only ones who suffer the consequences of drinking is us. Sometimes that helps. And frankly, what you do and don’t put into your body is nobody’s business but yours! :slight_smile: It’ll be an uncomfortable situation at first, but I think practice makes perfect? I hope, lol.


Thank you for that! Makes me feel not so crazy haha

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couldn’t agree more. Thank you!!

I totally asked someone about the white lies, and they completely supported this. Don’t feel guilty for deceiving others. Not everyone is going to understand your choice and why it’s so important. I agree that sobriety is #1!!!

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Yeah my one friend ALWAYS tells me “dude why not just drink on weekends or special occasions? Just don’t drink all the time it’s not that hard” that has to be the most frustrating thing in the world to keep hearing from someone. It’s not like I’m trying to keep messing up my life I wish I could just like show my friends a video and they would understand why I can’t even pick up just one little drink :confused:


I soooo did the same thing: told my friends that I had liver disease so everyone would leave me alone… LOL

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True addicts, whatever the substance, can’t moderate; if you can, your technically not an addict. Even heavy drinkers can be considered “moderators” if they can stop when they know they should. I’m honestly just pulling this from the big book. Even though I’m not really a fan of the AA program, the book does a great job at describing what an addict is. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend it. If the programs not for you they have SMART recovery as well. I totally agree with your opinion of how the social norm is completely out of wack. Like why in the hell is it weird to people when a younger person refuses to drink?

My partner says that all the time. Getting alot of good advice off here though things that really stick in my head like one post @Oliverjava wrote about HALT trying not to drink when you are hungry, angry, low or tired really helped the other night when my emotions were getting the better of me n I thought a drink would relax me also remembered last time I drank I was put in hospital. It’s these things added together that make me realize I can never have just one sensible drink on a weekend because it will break the cycle of not drinking then everyday turns into a special occasion in your head. Why is not drinking seen as weakness!! Sorry about the long reply…

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Ha I’ve heard that one. My weekends start trickling into weeknights which then turn into weekdays, every hour of every day, etc. There are no breaks with me, the “party” is constant when I get going. I’m becoming more open about others not accepting this or even getting my problem. It’s gonna take a while.


Yeah that really does piss me off. My mates and family would look at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them I want to stop. Which lead to added pressure. 12 days sober now going into Christmas, biggest challenge ever! Gonna be strong!!!