I’m currently 73 days sober and I’ve got a trip to Asia in 16 days
I’m not afraid of drinking right now, but lately my mind keeps showing me images of myself drinking once I’m there. It feels strong and it worries me.
I know what’s at stake — my clarity, my goals, the life I’m rebuilding — but these mental “relapse fantasies” have been louder than usual.
Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing? How do you handle it when your brain starts playing those old scenes even though you don’t want to go back?
I went through something similar a couple of weeks ago on my annual girls golf trip. Definitely not the same as your trip, but it is always one that involves a lot of drinking (mostly on my part). I was honest with my friends about being sober and my why - I am lucky to have a super supportive group who understand and are very proud of me. I am comfortable being around people drinking, I don’t feel pressured that way - it’s when I drink that I can’t turn off the switch. My friends were definitely more mindful of my sobriety, and there was very little drinking on the golf course, and almost no drinking at dinners. The first golf game was great, the second one I was miserable. I wanted a beer. Many beers. But I went through my reasons for being sober and why I can’t have just one or two beers. I also shared with my friends in the moment that I was struggling. I got through it, but it was hard. The third golf game was a lot easier, and fourth I had the best round of my life.
Long story, but I think for me it really helped to be honest with my travel mates and have them to help me. Instead of drinking bottles of wine in the hot tub, we drank tea and played Clue. The thoughts of drinking are constantly there for me, but at the end of the trip I was so proud that I did it, and remembered every minute of it instead of waking up with a pocket full of apologies for whatever dumb things I did wasted the day before.
Are you traveling with people that can help? Maybe check for local or online AA meetings? Definitely keep checking into this app - it’s been so helpful.
Tourist places, especially more backpacker places, can be pretty drinking based. And if the exchange rate makes it seem seem cheap then that can be an encouragement too. Just focus on all the places you can go, things you can do if you can get up early with a clear head. There are lots of different soft drinks that you can try in Asia too, focus on enjoying those. And if you have your own room, you can go back to that early and plan your next day.
@Maciej congrats on 73 days sober. that’s awesome man!
whats the legal drinking ago in asia? can you leave your ID in your room? are you going to be able to enjoy yourself without the drinking? do you pray?
For myself I would pray if i ever had any thoughts about drinking, and make sure your mates or travel buds know that you don’t plan on drinking while you’re there. that’s important so they don’t order you drinks.
wish i had more advice. i wouldn’t go, myself. why tempt fate? but that’s just me, i hope you find a way to have your cake and eat it too, my friend.
I’m flying to Cambodia for 3 months. It’s a country where a lot of drinking happens, and in general Asia has a big drinking culture. It’s more like a “wild west” over there — nobody really cares how old you are and alcohol is super easy to get.
I’m traveling alone. I’ve been waiting 11 months for this trip, my flights are already booked, and I’m really looking forward to it. Giving it up is not an option.
When I get on the plane I’ll be 90 days sober. It has been a beautiful time being sober and I’ve learned a lot already about the sober lifestyle — but of course, not everything. I still have to gain that experience over there.
I don’t want to miss out on an amazing life because of alcohol. So I really welcome any advice from you guys.
I can enjoy myself without drinking, actually much better that way. But it’s clear that there won’t be any parties in my daily routine there — and that’s something I have to be especially aware of, especially in the first weeks. I’ve already planned out how I’ll spend my days over there, and I know it’s definitely possible to stay active and focused.
It’s just that in the last few days something shifted — I’ve had these recurring thoughts, and my mind is starting to romanticize drinking again. So I’m trying not to think too far into the future, because that just makes everything harder. At home, I’m also just sober today — I don’t think too much about tomorrow.
I find the memories I have when I come back from a sober trip are so much more positive. In the past, when I went on a boozy holiday I’d look back at it with regret. Sober looking back there’s so much more positives to take from it.
If I could offer one tip its the first one, that first drink at the airport or whatever, that’s the one to avoid. Don’t overthink about avoiding the whole barrage of alcohol just avoid that first one and you’ll be golden. Couple of days into it you may find that it’s not the major hurdle you think it is now.
What are your tools for sobriety? If it’s AA, there are online meetings at all hours of the day. You will need a decent international data plan arranged before you leave. If your top tool is TS, you can use this or create another thread for accountability and post to it daily or more often.
Make a double sided list the sized of paper money. One side lists all the crappy consequences of your drinking. The other lists your top gratitudes in sobriety. Keep it in your wallet next to your cash and cards.
Prayers are more useful outside of church than in it, I have found. My first thing in the morning quiet time, reading from “24 hours a day” and reflection, ends with “Thank you for another day of sobriety. Please help me to stay sober again today. Please help me to know and to do the right things today.” The simpler version - Thank you. Help me.
If you have specific program to grow your sobriety, to focus on the changes to thought, action and feeling that are needed to serene without the booze, time to double down on it. If you do not have one, time to get one!
I’ve calmed my thoughts again, and I feel really good and confident that I will experience my time in Asia sober. It has become clear to me now, with almost 80 days sober, that alcohol gives me absolutely nothing and never has. I can clearly remember the first moments when I drank in Asia, and I know exactly that I didn’t feel good even after the first beer. I would quickly become tired, irritated, and tense.
I also know the situations in which I turned to alcohol there: most of the time I felt very tired and dehydrated, sometimes also lonely because I always traveled alone. I tried to improve my state by drinking alcohol, but that was only a wish that always backfired.
Alcohol was always just the door opener to other substances that were more stimulating. That was always connected with sleepless nights, depression afterward, paranoia in the hotel room, and encounters I would never have allowed in a sober state.
I have been aware of all of this for a long time, but in the last few days I have reflected on it more deeply, and I’ve realized that I don’t want that anymore. I would rather endure uncomfortable feelings and thoughts, just like I have over the last 76 days.
I will definitely continue to post here and keep recording my thoughts. It really feels good that there are people here who take the time to read my messages, respond, and give me advice.
This is it!!! And know that these feelings too pass. Just like cravings do. Often times in recovery we have to ride the wave of emotions but knowing that they will subside, makes it feel more manageable.
Make sure u get lots of self care in on ur trip as well. Rest, stay hydrated, fed, etc. Remember HALT. Not sure if uv heard of HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) as these are often causes of triggers. U always have us to connect to if ur feeling lonely too
First off, congratulations on 73 days — that’s real momentum, and you earned every single day of it. What you’re describing is incredibly common as life starts opening up again. When a trip, vacation, or totally new environment is coming, the brain can try to “replay” the old version of you in that setting. It’s not because you actually want to drink — it’s your addiction trying to remind you of the familiar storyline. The important thing is to recognize those thoughts for what they are: echoes, not instructions. When they show up, try not to panic or shove them away. Instead, notice them, acknowledge that it’s just the old wiring firing up, and gently redirect your mind toward what you want this trip to represent. Walk yourself through the version of the trip where you wake up clear, present, energized, and actually there for every moment. Picture the pride of coming home with your streak stronger, not shattered.
These fantasies usually get louder when your life is improving, because that’s the version your addiction can’t survive in. Bringing some structure into your trip can help — checking in daily with someone who supports your sobriety, keeping a morning routine that grounds you, and deciding in advance who you want to be while you’re there. It also helps to remember that relapse doesn’t start with the drink — it starts with the daydream. Catching the fantasy now means you’re already doing the work. And you’re not going back. The life you’re rebuilding is worth more than a blurry night you won’t even fully remember. Hold onto the clarity you’ve fought for, and carry it with you — Asia doesn’t have to be where sobriety pauses; it can be where it proves itself. You’ve got this.
Thanks for your message — it really means a lot to have people who understand.
I have to admit, I’ve got a lot of respect for this trip. It’s something I’ve never experienced before — traveling through Asia without alcohol or any of that stuff. Back home, everything feels stable. I’m not alone here, my routines keep me grounded, and I don’t get bored.
But in Asia, I used to drink a lot… During my last stay there, I remember wishing I could finally let go of that weight and just enjoy the country like a normal person.
I work on myself every single day. Every morning I remind myself why I don’t want to drink anymore — but yeah, the worries are still there.
I’ve already been thinking about what my days there will look like. My plan is to wake up early, start the day with a workout for sure, stay active, eat clean, and drink lots of coconuts. In my mind, that all feels really good — still, there’s a bit of worry that lingers.
At first, I’ll stay as far away as I can from party streets or bars — though honestly, bars were never really my thing anyway. Still, my first stop in Cambodia is Siem Reap, and it can get pretty hectic there — lots of tourists, lots of drinking around. But that’s not the lifestyle I want anymore. After a long day, I just want to relax in my hotel, maybe watch the videos I filmed during the day.
What I definitely want to do regularly in the evenings is hit the sauna and get massages — at least daily for the first 10 days, until I feel grounded and fully relaxed.
