Family treating you different since sobriety

So I’ve been sober for nearly 16 months. It’s been about 16 months since I’ve been to a party or family gathering. No my choice my family has just been avoiding me and not inviting me since I got sober. At first I just thought maybe they don’t want me to feel uncomfortable because they drink. But I haven’t even been invited to my nephews swim meets or baseball games. It’s hurting to see the big change my family has dont towards me. It’s been hurting so much that I nearly relapsed yesterday.

Can y’all give me feed back about how your family treats you or any advice on what I should do?

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Maybe speak to your sponsor might help

I had all those same feelings. But in my case I was the one avoiding my family. Like hardcore. On my one year I came clean to everyone and actually heard from family members that I haven’t talked to in years. Basically the ball is in my court so I need to make the effort to see them.

Plus we are your family now if you want us.

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Since my last relapse 100 days ago my younger sister has banned me from seeing my 4 nephews and even going to her house, I’m angry about this as she has never been around me and alcohol and neither have the kids. I find this extreme and upsetting. The rest of my family who had been at the receiving end of my drunken behaviour have stood by my side…
I’m learning that I can’t fix or address the relationship with my younger sister right now, by trying to do so I’m going to have anger burn inside me for a long time which will undoubtedly result in a relapse. I have to do me and let this anger go, let it be what it will and maybe one day in the future things will work out

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I have spoken to my sponsor about it many times

I do consider my sobriety family as my family definitely but I guess I’m just seeking acceptance from those that have known me since I was a child

Yeah same I never really brought the bad behavior around the kids but they were more happy when I was partying and drinking…which I still party but just sober!

Try meeting them where they are at. You have been given a gift through the steps of AA. It teaches us acceptance. But it doesn’t teach other people in our lives the same thing. I don’t say this to be mean, but maybe just try forming the relationship on their terms, whatever those terms may be.

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I don’t think that comes across mean at all. I believe we have a choice - we can either try and deal with people on their terms or choose not to deal with them.

@Longhorn only you know what’s the right one for you! I hope you find some acceptance… Even if that means accepting things aren’t quite where you want them to be right now :heart:

Huge congratulations on your sobriety time, it’s amazing to hear and also good to be reminded that just because we’re sober it doesn’t make all the problems go away.

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Your not being mean at all. Your opening my mind which is what I need. I know if I ask them what there terms are and tell them how I feel they will only get defensive and push me away. Unfortunately I’m not able to say if they are alcoholics themselves but I can say they have a lot of character defects that causes conflict.

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I think you should speak to your family and tell them how you feel. They might not know that you’re feeling alone.

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