Is being tired an excuse for you? If so, how often? And if you’re aware, how much has being “tired” or “fatigue” prevented you from getting things done?
This is a fascinating question for me because fatigue is possibly my main trigger. I have ME and it means that a normal day often exhausts me, and by having wine I got to feel ‘normal’ for just a little bit (a fake energy boost). By giving it up I have to accept the fatigue which I really struggle with. But then, I start to feel less tired so it does pay off. It means I have to start viewing things long term instead of short term.
Hope that makes sense!?
Hundreds of times I was/am just to tired to accomplish anything. I got back to water aerobics 2 x week since sober and it is amazing how much better I feel.
This is an interesting question for sure. I have struggled with fatigued for sure (especially when it came to hitting particular recovery milestones and PAWS… the fatigue was brutal!). But other than that i dont get extremely fatigued like this often. I DO tho get tired often tho and almost “burn out” or “run myself on empty” more than i like to admit. I definitely wouldnt say tho that i use being tired as an excuse to not do things. Bcuz everything i do are things that HAVE to get done. Whether its for the home or for my son who is a complex medical kiddo or for myself and my recovery. I have no choice but to push thru the fatigue or tiredness. And bcuz i am constantly pushing thru it i burn out often. Which is why I try to make self care a priority… yet often times self care is just another thing to do on my list of things to do lol But i definitly realize that being tired has been a trigger in the past for me. Not necessarily the actual feeling of being tired but the emotions that stem from being tired (feeling stressed and overwhelmed).
I won’t use my fatigue as an excuse but I’ve certainly slowed down considerably. I don’t know if it’s age (45 next month) or what it is. I know it’s not hormones, had them all checked and bloodwork done. It may be ADHD which when it’s bad is fatiguing. Motivation is lacking and it takes longer to get started.
Definitely not an excuse. I suffer from extreme fatigue on a day to day basis, which only allows me to just about get the bare minimum done. I sleep every single afternoon for about three hours, or I won’t be able to spend any time with my husband in the evening. As a result, my circadian rhythm is off kilter.
Over the years I’ve gone to the doctor over it, which in itself is a herculean effort when you feel so drained. All they ever do is run bloods, tell me I’m a tiny bit low on iron or b12 and recommend a supplement or shots. They never do anything to help, so I stopped bothering. The thought occurred to me that I might have chronic fatigue, but I can’t get anyone to listen to me. This level of fatigue is not normal, and it’s extremely debilitating and depressing.
It’s interesting you asked the question…what are are your own thoughts on the matter?
Fatigue is so real and it can be crippling. I did get diagnosed with choric fatigue about 10 years ago and at that time i couldn’t move for more than 10-15 minutes at a time. It came outta nowhere and it scared the hell out of me. No one would listen to me and finally after many tests (which were so hard to take) it was diagnosed and I honestly don’t remember how I dug myself outta that hole. I do have a tendency to work till i drop and shortly after getting my energy back I started down the same crazy path again. It did not last long as my body was not having it and that’s when the alcohol helped. For past year + i’ve had health issues where everything is so tiring (the pain, the constant itching that hasn’t stopped in over 17 months, the not being able to shower or go to the bathroom without screaming) is insane and the chronic fatigue that i thought I had under control is back with a vengeance… I am so damn fortunate that I do get a chance to melt into the fatigue and embrace it at times so that I can recharge to some degree and become a functioning part of society but if I didn’t have this opportunity I would probably force myself to work through it and make my health worse.
Fatigue is not an excuse it’s a reality. You have to listen to your body because a healthy body would not feel such intense tiredness (fatigue). If you are experiencing fatigue (severe tiredness) have you discussed with a doctor?
@Binx - i’m sorry that you were not helped with b12 and shots. Low iron is very tricky - getting iron supplements to work you need to make sure your body is absorbing them (many times it does not take). You are right -the level of fatigue is not normal and I do hope that you get the help to sort it out soon.
Yup, it makes sense. Alcohol never acted as a supplement for energy, but I did start to abuse Redbull for that purpose. I knew that the effects were temp and sometimes the crash was tremendous, but I still continued. I’m proud to say that despite feeling fatigue still, I’m not as sluggish as I was before and all I had to do was change my diet and walk consistently every day for the past few weeks. What strikes me is when I let the fatigue or tiredness influence my decision to handle business. A nap may help, but I can’t sleep until bedtime.
I gotta get in that water! I can’t swim, but I’m sure it’s life changing and my girlfriend keeps saying she wants to swim, although I’m certain she won’t be doing anything athletic haha!
Well that fatigue is well earned haha! Handling your priorities is always number 1, and scheduling self care however you medicate (sober of course) is necessary! Those emotions can be daunting too, sometimes I stop to correlate them with fatigue and I think to myself “oh, I understand babies now”
That’s interesting, and would make sense to me womith the ADHD. I have a friend who’s similar, desite cocaine usage. Even if it’s been a few days since he’s always tired. I used this group today as a little motivation to get my ass up and take my walk. I like sharing some of my scenery out here. Of course I had to get moving, but I made it sooner than later and I’m glad I did. The fatigue I felt is still present but I’m more relaxed now.
I’ve used being tired as an excuse to dismiss myself from favors and personal tasks for eons. I’m better these days however. Even when I’m tired, I often times don’t nap so what happens is I end up becoming a bed bug, or a chair cusion, browsing aimless and mindlessly because I’ve allowed the feelings to keep me stagnant. That’s something I struggle with, but tired is not an excuse at all, or at least I’m learning to not treat it as such.
I feel for your condition whatever it may be, I’m sure you’ve been through a list of specialists but do not give up and continue to research. That’s a heavy obstruction to have, sounds like you can’t thoroughly enjoy your day without literally being drained before you get the chance to.
That’s intense, and hopefully you’ll recover from that as well someday. Now that you mention it, I may be using fatigue loosely. I’m not drained to the point where I can’t really function and am ready to shut down at times. I’m currently just tired from improper sleep, so some fatigue may be there but it’s temporary until I can rest. I guess I just want to know if people who feel tired for any reason allow it to keep themselves from handling certain tasks, outside of the conditions that you described.
My " im tired "excuses have become farrrrr less since getting sober. I have more energy and motivation like i used to only dream of. In the before time i would put off a necessary task and then not doing the task would stress me out and it was a cycle of dread without action. A few things happened since getting sober… a) i found aa and learned to do the next right thing… b) idk i learned that doing that one thing i dont wanna do is the path of least resistance and i wont get caught in the cycle of dread.
Not everyday is productive and some days i give myself a pass.
I don’t use I’m tired as an excuse. I do say it all the time though
I have some nerve issues, some scarring on my spine and also in one of the cranial nerve clusters causing trigeminal neuralgia, and also get migraines, etc… So some days I can’t do as much as I like. But luckily the nerve issues seem to still come for some days/week and then go away again, they’re not constant yet.
I work and take care of my kids. But i don’t hardly ever do anything physical outside of work or kids. I just don’t have the time or energy to.
And maybe this is what you were referring to. But i get up at 7 and am usually up until around 11 or midnight. No time for naps
For water exercise you stand in 3 feet of water and you would not be alone. Not so hard on your muscles and fun.
Find some activity that keeps you on your sobriety journey.
Ah, I pictured full on Michael Felps, sorry haha! Indeed!
@Cjp @Scorpn I think for me, it’s more subconscious. If I’m feeling tired I’ll tend to move slower both mentally and physically which ultimately deters me from doing what needs to be done in the moment. To sum it all up beyond making tired an excuse, I’m still stuck in comfort zones but I am climbing out of them. I’ve taken the initiative for quite a few life changing things in recent months, remembering that it’s ODAAT!
It really sounds like chronic fatigue syndrome to me and I am sorry you aren’t getting answers. I was lucky in that my diagnosis of ME/CFS came after only a year. The intense relief when I was believed and given a reason for being exhausted was amazing. Like you I was in bed for hours, and it wasn’t napping exactly, more like completely necessary 3 hour sleep marathons. I remember trying to go for a walk and having to call my husband to pick me up from a bench that was 5 minutes from home. No amount of rest on that bench was going to be enough to get me that last 5 minutes. Really hard time and it makes me so sad to think my children were missing out on so much of me at the time.
But…once I had the diagnosis I was able to start building up my tolerance levels. That was back in 2014 and now I am able to work almost full time. I have had to make the trade off, so while I can manage that I don’t exercise as much as I want (exhausted at the end of the day), and I have to build in naps at the weekend. Someone else maybe would work less, but have more of a healthy exercise plan. I am hoping to build up to have both!
Do you think there was a trigger for your chronic fatigue? Mine was a nasty flu, a bit like long covid I never really recovered. I think it can be triggered by lots of things though. There is some excellent advice online. I guess my long ramblings are just me wanting to say that I completely understand how you feel and it must be so frustrating for you to not have answers.
Sounds like we have had very similar experiences. I think Type A personality types are particularly susceptible because of their tendency to try and push through. I like your line about melting into the fatigue, that is exactly what it feels like, to embrace and recharge! You have to just go with it. I am definitely guilty of trying to add more and more in and then having to deal with that period of adjustment (in bed )