I can’t seem to go longer than 4-6 weeks without getting black out drunk and stoned. I used to quite enjoy doing it and would do it fairly frequently. My job was physically demanding and would soon sweat out the hangovers many times throught the week. So i just kept doing it. Fast forward in time and i realise i was pretty much self medicating after being diagnosed with ptsd from experiences within the armed forces ((uk non combat) when i was 19/20 yo. Im 45yo now unemployed for 7 years, most of that time lost from struggling with ptsd symptoms and suffering from the prescription medications i had been put on. In the last year or two i cant remember i started to get some some strange sensations in my feet that initially was intermittent but has now become constant and everything is pointing to peripheral neuropathy. Although its not been diagnosed yet. Ive been aware for a long time that i need to at least control my drinking and smoking habit and have been working hard to do so. Now with this pain i now feel it in my hands and lower arms just not as intense as the feet, but i fear its going to progress. Im scared to go on the medications (gabapentin, amitriptyline, pregablin)after the hell i went through with ptsd meds. I came off all prescription drugs a few years ago and took up cold showers and breathing exercises. But kept drinking and smoking because in my mind a hangover and weedovers were better than sideffects form the pills. But right now the pain is getting the better of me it makes me want to get wasted. Im bored i have nothing to do i lost interest in pretty much everthing, i used to walk a lot visit friends have them over but now i spend almost 90% of my day indoors. Its miserable i feel like im letting my partner and kids down they have nothing to be proud of me for. I dont want to give in but i feel close. I must fight on.
Sounds like you’ve got addicted and you need to get clean. It’s a hard space to be in and it is scary. It feels like your life is out of your control.
You need help my friend. You say you want to fight on, but there’s no soldier who can fight alone. No battle is won alone. You can only win this by asking for help and by learning.
You need to get clean. You can learn to do that here:
You also should speak with a medical doctor about your peripheral neuropathy. Give your full history and ask for the doctor’s opinion.
The recovery part is absolutely fundamental. The medical part will work if you work the recovery part as your foundation.
Thank you for this reply Matt. I think you are right and this monday i will look for a local group laastnight after another 15 days i caved and really regret doing so now.
Leebg79 How are you doing? Reach out, and help will surround you.
Yeah hope you are doing well.
How is everything going?
How are you feeling?
Edit. Started writing you and realized this is an old post. Not that old. December 24.
But still.
Oh gosh. That sounds brutal Lee. I have minor neuropathy mostly in my feet. Only hurts at night with blankets on. And some other strange sensations of cold numbness pins and needles kind of a thing. But nothing like what you’re describing. My doc thinks since I quit drinking it won’t get any worse. Won’t get any better. But at least won’t get any worse.
Sorry about that PTSD.
So now that I’m caught up. How are you doing Lee?
What are you doing for your recovery?
I don’t see you on here much. I know it’s a great big forum or community. Do you do any daily checkins? Daily gratitude? AA meetings?
This drinking is really fucking you over. And obviously you can’t control it. None of us can. That’s why we’re here. I hope you can find the help you need.
Concerned DC
@Dazercat @Matt @sober26 @Denver im not doing to good at the moment if im honest. About 5 days ago i started to feel the symptoms of acute anxiety and now have been given a course of diazapam. Its really quite frightening, i keep over worring about everything. My health, am i losing my mind, Am i worthy. Why am i in pain. My kids futures, am i going to end up alone, am i a bad person, what people think of me, i dont understand why i have to feel like this and im sorry for anything and everything i may have done that was wrong. I have found a group but at the moment i cant face going so soon i want to wait for this severe anxiety to stop first. But i will definitely go when i feel ready. Im scared.
With regards to peripheral neuropathy its hasnt actually been officially diagnosed. whether that means i have idiopathic neuropathy or not i dont know. Another option could be Uric Acid! I have had a couple of Gout attacks over the last couple of years but never treated for it. Well just before xmas i had it again and my GP wanted to test my blood which did show High uric Acid. He said before taking Allopurinol he sent me a link to a podcast where they talk about how Uric Acid doesnt just cause Gout. And encouraged me to look in to my nutrition! Thus far im learning that fructose, hidden sugars , processed foods and Beers are bad for Uric acid and essentially could be whats behind the pain. I have a lot of work to do!
I wish you well and hope your severe anxiety symptoms subside quickly.
I can hear the pain through your words, and just want you to know we all wish you well and recovery.
I don’t know too much about the medication, but keep talking to medical professionals, and at the same time continue to work on your sobriety.
As you continue on your sober journey, everything else seems to fall into place.
At least that’s what I’ve noticed on this journey.
The more sober I am, the more better everything else seems.
Keep on checking in and keep on the journey.
Hello friend,
if you are suffering from crippling anxiety and panic, I can very much recommend online meetings. I suffer from these quite frequently and having the option to join an online meeting with no obligation to go anywhere, be seen, or having to talk is a godsend.
I just join, keep the camera and microphone off and listen. This has saved my sanity in countless difficult nights. Hearing people‘s voices helps me to stay grounded then.
Leebg79 Yeah, beer is very acidic, even one beer will trigger gout. Make sure you’re drinking lots of water to keep yourself flushed out. When you get up in the morning, drink a pint of water right away.
I’ve found keeping my mind busy with work or projects around the house, helps with anxiety. Exercise also helps, jog, walk, go the gym. As you get more sober time, the anxiety will lessen up. The number one thing is to be kind to yourself. You deserve it!