On day 23 of not using, my husband and daughter are out of town, so that means I get to go visit my wonderful pill popping mother by myself today, as you can tell we really don’t get along, but due to some circumstances I go down, ugh so not feeling it. I go down every sat to visit her, but usually I have my daughter and/or my husband with me. This is the first sat since being clean I have been down by myself. I am really stressing here, because pills down there are like what you would find in a pharmaceutical place. I can’t tell her about my little problem because let just say it will wind up bad. I ran/walked 2 miles today just to clear my head. Sat are usually the days I “up” what I am taking just to deal with her, I know it sounds horrible to talk about my mother like that but…let just say she isnt the best nor is she the worst mother, any ideas on how to stay focused and use? I know my husband gave me an ultimatum and it has worked, but the stress of being down there and having all that at my disposal well it’s over bearing
Sorry you feel like that… I don’t get along with my mother so I understand the struggle! Can you fake an illness!? If not visiting her is not an option then i would keep it short and superficial… Preoccupy your mind with planning next week’s meal plans whilst talking to her, or just day dream about something else… Let us know how it goes!
Thanks I will. Unfortunately not visiting her isn’t an option. I will defiantly do things to keep me busy. I leave for the beach sat so I can think about that.
Tosho12, make a mental list of things to talk about, to stop any awkward gaps or negatively sleeping in. Remember how well you have done and all you have to lose, if you allow your mother to stress you out. Agree with others, keep visit short. God luck
Correction - seeping in. Correction good luck
Thank you. I don’t know why I let her always get to me, she has always gotten to me since i was adopted. I know why, but I a grown woman and have even moved out of state and she still gets to me
I seriously know how you feel, I decided 5 years ago to cut my mother out of my life, harsh and sad to admit it, but it removed the invasive negativity she had over me. I spoke to a spiritual counsellor due to the guilt I felt and he reminded me about forgiveness eg forgive someone 7, times and 7 more and truly forgive in your heart and then let them go. You cannot change someone only yourself. It won’t be for everyone but I am happier in my life, although family get togethers are sacrificed as a result. A future wedding coming up will be interesting.
Oh no good luck with that, lol. I wish I could cut her out of my life, but due to certain things I cannot.
Stay positive!! Remember you have your own family that need you 
My mum also gets to me I’m also adopted but I just try to keep visits short maybe 1 hour most and my drinking went through the roof leading up to seeing my parents hope you get on OK and lets see 24 soon
Glad I am not the only one. Thank you
I’ve been dealing with this a lot lately. My parents are both alcoholics and we’re abusive to me and my brothers growing up, still are really.
I’ve cut them out of my life as much as possible but still see them every now and again because of my daughter.
Like you, I get really anxious before the visits and would typically make sure to be pretty loaded anytime we were supposed to be together. The last few times I’ve just really spent time thinking about my sobriety and why I’m taking this journey beforehand. Listening to some inspiring music may help on the drive.
I always know I’ll be in a bad place during the visit. But, as long as I can power through, I’ll still have my sobriety when it’s over. And, I’ll know that I’m no longer letting my relationship with them affect my life and health and relationships with others in such a negative way. Take that power away from her, even if she doesn’t know it. It can be your little secret!
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Thank u for that, I downloaded a lot of songs about drug addiction recovery, just so when I wanted that high I could listen to them. I always listen to them before I go down there, never really realized the reason why I did until now. My husband has been calling and texting me just to make sure I don’t relapse.
Ok so update on how today went, it went better than I thought it would and apparently the Drs are onto my mother and are not prescribing any more pain pills, which is helpful for me. We only had one major argument and i told her i don’t have to listen to the bullsgit and I can leave, she left instead. Thank you all for your help
I’m glad to hear the visit was better than you were expecting. Hopefully you’re feeling okay and able to quickly find your center after all of that.