Feeling like a loser; trying to reframe

I am feeling like a loser, but trying really hard to reframe it.

It seems like nothing that I do lately works out—tried to grow grass, but just for weeds; tried to lose weight and start and exercise program, but keep getting derailed; trying to get sober and I keep having setbacks. The latest thing was that a colleague asked me to support his promotion. This was a colleague that I hired and I have years of experience on, but he beat me to the next career stage. My first instinct is to berate myself and call myself a loser. In the past it would also be an excuse to drink……but I am trying to do things differently.

First, I am trying to acknowledge the pain and disappointment that I feel.

I am trying to remind myself that someone else’s success, does not diminish my worth (lack of self worth is a huge trigger).

I am trying to remind myself that I didn’t prioritize advancement at work, but instead have consciously chosen a more balanced life of adventure, growth, and connection.

I am trying to forgive myself for not prioritizing work related tasks.

I am trying to speak kindly to myself and be gentle with my aches and pains.

I will not drink because of this. I will get past this hump. And I will grow because of it……but, damn……it is HARD!!

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Those ideas for alternatives you are trying sound very good to me :slight_smile:

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And to add insult to injury, I just stepped in dog shit while watering my weed patch! Fucking awesome!

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I’m sorry, I laughed at the stepping in dog shit, that seems to sound like my life lately. I loved your (original) post, there’s so much knowledge in there. And I agree, it’s hard. I’m glad you’re here! :hugs:

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You are not a loser. You sound like you are good at finding the positive and perspective, I call that a win. You are aware and thoughtful and I think you know not every day is great and feeling not great or not okay is being human. And you didn’t drink at any of your feelings…another win!!

I did chuckle on stepping in poop. I hope you weren’t barefoot. Hopefully a hose was nearby to clean up with. :upside_down_face:

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I’m trying to learn to rest when I’m tired and not quit. Give yourself a mental hug and a frosty glass of water and keep re-framing those thoughts until you believe them.
I’m not sure if my quote is applicable here but it is probably better than a shoe in poo. Sending hugs for better days ahead.

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I love this! There’s a great deal of wisdom here; I’m struggling to reframe myself. Please keep up the good work and let us know how you’re doing. :hugs:

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Happy I discovered this thread tonight. I hope the rest of your day turned around!

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This is an awesome post.

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Or culture and society constantly drills into us this idea that you need status you need work promotion at you need money and flashy things…

If you stop and take a breath, and follow the path that you want from life… Adventure for example, and less working stress, you are constantly going to have to remind yourself of your choices because it’s so easy to get suckered into the brain washing that is constantly all around at all times.

I choose to work less hours and live a more humble life so that I can spend more time rock climbing or exploring or tending the garden.

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100% agree! I’m currently reevaluating my work life. I took a new job recently and I’m realizing it is not the best for my mental health. Non-stop stress and problems. A change will need to be made regardless of what others think. It’s my life and I’m tired of being miserable. I used to drink over job stress. Forget that shit! I’m not getting any younger either.

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Don’t sound like a loser to me, losers don’t keep trying to improve themselves. You can’t control everything but as far as you’re sobriety is concerned you’re doing a great job.

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THANK YOU everyone for making me feel supported and heard!! And for helping me be confident that I have chosen the right path! You all are AWESOME!!

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Just wanted to say I love how you’ve reframed your thinking and put it down into words. This is also something I’ve been working on and it’s a labor of love for sure. Self love!

Writing the reframing down in my journal has helped a lot because I can go back and read what I’ve written and see where my patterns are as I keep practicing shaping my internal dialogue into a kinder voice.

Hope you continue on this path and find yourself seeing progress!

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You’re only a loser once you give up, otherwise a work in progress…we will get there.

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