Welcome, Callie. I’m glad you posted today with your concerns because there are so many of us here who can relate to that feeling. I came here with that feeling at times, especially early on, and learned a lot from what others had to say. Reading around others’ posts about what has worked for them in their work to stay sober helped me to learn what I might need to do differently - it’s not just about “not drinking” but more about what am I doing instead? How am I shifting my thinking about alcohol? What do I want from my life and how has alcohol kept me from being my best or better self? I did a whole lot of introspection, helped me to journal and write down my thoughts a lot. But I also tried and continue to try new things when I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. I’ll link just a few of my favorite threads below and I hope you will take some time to read through.
Ultimately what helped me the most was to get active here, check in every day or most days (I’ll link that thread below too) and start to get to know some people here and build some relationships. It might just be online but the relationships and mutual support I’ve found here have helped me over the years to go from white knuckling to maintaining and even thriving. It’s not linear, there are tougher and easier times but I know I’ve got this global group of folks to lean on when I need. I hope you will keep coming back and join in and maybe find out the types of things that could help you get a foundation beneath you so you can lean into sobriety and recovery and not feel that white knuckle stress so much. I’m glad you’re here.
Advice for the newcomer and constant relapser